The Dark Shadows Daybook: October 11

By PATRICK McCRAY

Taped on this day in 1968: Episode 605

Stokes reunites his old crew to conduct one, last caper to rob Eve… of oxygen! Can they pull it off or does Nicholas Blair have the upper hand? Stokes: Thayer David. (Repeat; 30 min.)

Julia dreams that Barnabas’ mission to Blair House will end in death. He’s incredulous at this news, but they recruit Stokes anyway. Stokes visits Blair to gather intelligence and make a schematic, having located Eve’s room by its aroma. Back at the Old House, he schemes to invite Nicholas for dinner and bore him with stories as Barnabas sneaks over and drugs Eve. Unfortunately, Nicholas has seen the entire plan be sketched via his scrying mirror. The plan works until Barnabas discovers the blanket stuffed with pillows and Angelique waiting in the wings.

The most unwise assumption about Dark Shadows episodes is that they’re all alike. After all, out of the Fightin’ 1225, how many can be that different? The answer is, quite a few. Yes, there’s a lot of filler. Yes, Sturgeon’s Law dictates that only 10 percent of the episodes are any good. That’s 125.  Not much? If we apply that measure uniformly, it means that there are only two good episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer per year. Fourteen in all. Sixty-four The Simpsons episodes, which is not bad by any means. But you have to be 60 Minutes to beat DS, and how many 60 Minutes festivals have you been to? Exactly.

When I think of the very best of the best of Dark Shadows, there is surprising variety, and nested within, this particularly luminous gem. And, of all things, it’s a caper story. There are two types of these stories out there -- all plot or all style. Thanks to the urbane wit of Gordon Russell, we get a beautiful blend of both with a classic DS punchline.

I love it when a plan comes together, and before it does, the episode appropriately assumes the form of the Barnabas/Julia Dark Shadows sitcom where the only thing missing is a laugh track. Barnabas is on his way to Nicholas’ when Julia stops him. She does nothing for weeks but harangue him to get off his caboose and be a man, and now that he does it, she stops him. Before you can say, “That’s Our Julia,” she gives her reasoning… a scary dream. Jonathan Frid nails his you-gotta-be-kidding-me mug, and I completely expect him to look at the camera and proclaim, “As always, the doctor is OUT!” You may think I’m exaggerating. Watch the episode and get back to me. The show was finding a real rhythm between these newer characters, and rather than lose steam upon declaring peace, the duo departs off like a rocket.



When fans reminisce about the overabundant, cheerful self-appreciation of Professor Stokes, 605 is what we’re talking about. After we’ve gotten used to Barnabas and Julia being polar opposites on this battle, Stokes comes in and unites them with a plan while making them look utterly rational. Characters on Dark Shadows spend most of their time bewildered, frightened, or in denial, setting Stokes up as the show’s most memorable hero as he revels in a carnival of confidence. Whether it’s pulling out the hand sketched schematics of Blair House, identifying rooms by their owners’ scents, finding Nicholas’ boudoir ‘depressingly overdecorated,’ or torturing him with Collins minutiae rather than Willie’s cooking, Stokes makes the scene. There’s even a subtle homage to Ocean's 11,  the camera hovering unusually high in the air, as Team This Old House plans their wacky assassination attempt around a fancy card table that Willie, I’m sure, set up in the drawing room. It’s nothing but endearing joy, and if the scene ended with Stokes, then Julia, then Barnabas (with ring) putting their hands down in a stack on the table, I would have been satisfied on a disturbingly cosmic level.

Ee-oh-eleven!

The only thing better than the planning is the execution. Julia is petrified, Stokes is reveling in the scheme, and Barnabas is only barely keeping the dishonesty cogent. Now, of all times, he becomes a troubled bluffer. Well, if you’re used to having the luxury of 171 years of claustrophobic imprisonment to cook up a good whopper, it might sting to suddenly have but a few hours to get your lines down. Of course, the layered joke is that Nicholas is completely aware of the scene since he has Amazon Prime, too, streaming the show on his mirror at home. As smart as they are, Nicholas is just indulging them, making him a gamesman on par with the professor. It’s just a shame he doesn’t know it. Think how much faster Dark Shadows would go by if everyone on it watched Dark Shadows. Nicholas clearly does. Given how far ahead he is, Nicholas could have stopped the Stokespack at any point. Letting Barnabas wander into a ridiculous trap consisting of pillows piled up under a sheet and Angelique hiding in the corner? That’s not just winning. That’s an editorial. Take that, professor!

This episode was broadcast Oct. 18, 1968.

The Dark Shadows Daybook: OCTOBER 18

By PATRICK McCRAY

Taped on this date in 1968: Episode 610

Eve visits Jeff in the garden and is surprised when he fails to acknowledge his past love for her... when he was known as Peter Bradford. Perhaps because she looks different from when she was Danielle Roget? Inside, Vicki tells a melancholy Liz that she and Jeff will marry. Liz’s funk lifts briefly when Vicki invites her to help plan the wedding. Jeff descends into anxiety in the garden, giving Vicki her doubts about the wedding. Liz, too, returns to her thanatomania, and when she sees a spying Eve, she declares her to be the Angel of Death. Eve goes to Nicholas, demanding to know of her past identity -- a forbidden topic. They discuss the fact that she was seen by Carolyn, and now by Jeff.  He is livid. All she can offer him is the information that Jeff Clark and Peter Bradford are the same. Curious, Nicholas places Eve in a trance and learns that Peter came to loathe the deeds of Danilelle, who murdered Phillipe Cordier. Peter had, however, enough love to give her a head start before he alerted the authorities that she was a killer. Eve awakens, confirmed in her suspicions of the past. Nicholas is disturbed that other forces are at work in the midst of his own efforts.

What wasn’t going on in 1795? The authors loaded it up like a clown car of expanding cast members and storylines. It would be great fun to retcon the telling of 1795 to include hints of Danielle Roget. And let’s not forget the other, eleventh hour storyline lurking under the 1795 surface: Jeb Hawkes. He had existed in the 1790’s, too, and lured Vicki to leap from Widow’s Hill after her return to that time. Peter later came to the future as a ghost to punish Jeb. This is a storyline that could use a more memorable establishment of causality. On one hand, I give it a hearty WTF and go on to say that it makes the curly-q Ragnarok/1840 storyline look like the Maggie Kidnapping. But it is text. Seen that way, it’s one of Collinsport’s more cosmic mysteries, perhaps not meant to be lashed down with colored paper and a bow.

On this day in 1968, Aristotle Onassis announced his wedding plans with Jackie Kennedy. We also saw Apollo 7 return three bitter and sick astronauts to Earth. Finally, in the-more-things-stay-the-same department, athletes Tommie Smith and John Carlos were suspended from the Olympics for giving a black power salute.

What year is it? Really? Forty-eight years later?

You’d never know.