The Dark Shadows Daybook: August 5

By PATRICK McCRAY

Taped on this date in 1968: Episode 559

Will Nicholas solve his romantic problems with Maggie by insisting that Angelique have Joe for dinner? Nicholas: Humbert Allen Astredo. (Repeat; 30 min.)

With the aid of a magic mirror and the trio of powers of hypnosis, ventriloquism, and invisibility, Nicholas fools Victoria into thinking she’s been at the Old House instead of his prisoner. When she wanders in to see Jeff, he informs her that she’s been missing for days. Meanwhile, Nicholas again charms Maggie, but when Joe appears, it’s clear that there are rocks on the green for the devil’s Don Juan. Returning to the house by the sea, he suggests to Angelique that her next victim will be Joe Haskell.

Jeez, even a smooth-talking, well-dressed, hardworking, handsome professional guy from Hell doesn’t stand a chance against the eternal menace of The Old Boyfriend. It’s a credit to the casting and authorship of Dark Shadows that you side with the demon on the whole thing. It’s a longstanding tradition now that the show’s ostensible villains are the romantic heroes, but in this case, there’s no ostensible about it. He IS the villain. Nonetheless, he’s a villain experiencing his first love, and who can’t get behind that? Maggie brings out the best in him. Humbert Allen Astredo becomes a California-bronzed Richard Benjamin onscreen with Kathryn Leigh Scott, and together, they create television’s most subversive almost-couple.

There’s nothing new to seeing love depicted as a transformative force. That’s its job in art. It transforms the static, the pessimistic, the hopeless, and the innocent. Dark Shadows is bored with that, and reliably examines what love can do for evil. Angelique is the series’ longest-running experiment in that. Her story ends in the transformation that love can create. Just because she believes she begins the story as a woman in love, doesn’t mean that she is. Obsessed, maybe. Jealous, certainly. If she begins the series in love with anything, it’s with the idea of being someone else -- primarily a Collins, wealthy and waspy. She calls that love, and it may be, but its not romance. She just happens to find that along the way, and it’s a happy irony that it’s with the subject of her obsession. Even luckier? Having gotten the pleasure of burning her alive out of his system, he’s eventually open to exploring a future with the woman who condemned him to a godless, living death of savagery and solitude. As one should expect.

For Adam, love motivates him to improve himself. It also motivates him to become a serial kidnapper, but at least that gets him out of the house. Love transforms Julia Hoffman. Quentin, arguably. Certainly, Jeb. But with Nicholas, there is a genuine danger to the depiction and storyline. Not just that he’s doing something dangerous -- it’s that the writers are.

Depending on where you’re coming from. Love doesn’t really transform Nicholas so much as expand his range of delights. Because of the casting of Astredo, it’s hard not to root for him. Especially compared with the charming-but-bland quarterback-type presented by Joe Haskell, the program creates an immediate David-and-Goliath scenario where it’s very easy to root for the diabolical Blair. Joe’s spun his wheels for years… at least Nicholas wants to make a commitment. And it’s not because Maggie’s soul is the secret to some superweapon or something. No, he just authentically loves her. If Nicholas’ charm and awareness weren’t enough to make him the preferable Dr. Pepper to the predictable Coke of the good guys, now he’s a guy with a sincere interest in one of the show’s heroines. Because who knows what’s holding up Joe? Barnabas wasn’t in love with her; he was in love with someone who just looked like her. True, we don’t see how Joe responded to her when he and Maggie first met. We don’t see Joe infatuated. What we see is a Joe (yes, traumatized, but still….) who is complacent but arguably noncommittal. Contrasted with a Nicholas, motivated for the right reasons, it makes Joe’s upcoming fate even sadder. And Maggie’s affection for Joe, even more so, because we know where it’s headed.

As for Nicholas? Now more than ever, it’s hard to root against him. And maybe we don’t. We just root against his plans. Nicholas is a man who wants naughty naughty things. But Maggie’s not one of them.

This episode hit the airwaves Aug. 15, 1968.

The Dark Shadows Daybook: July 24

By PATRICK McCRAY

Taped on this date in 1969: Episode 810

Quentin stops Charity from calling the police by proving that her father murdered her mother. She bargains for the whereabouts of Tim Shaw. As Magda tries to locate him, they learn that Quentin’s infant daughter is dying. After fighting Aristede for an ineffectual, magic medallion, Quentin and Magda summon the ghost of Julianka for help. Instead, the ghost of Jenny appears.

So much of the 1897 storyline feels like primetime show that’s wandered onto daytime tv. After all, as any bored kid in the 70’s with chicken pox will tell you, soaps are not bastions of action and adventure. In 810, after slogging through lengthy scenes of Charity Trask panicking over Quentin, fuming over her father, and pining for Tim Shaw, we are treated to one of DARK SHADOWS’ rare but hilarious fistfights. These are usually left to David Selby (or Christopher Pennock), and in this one, he dukes it out with Aristede. The deck is stacked in Quentin’s favor from the beginning. He’s fighting a man usually seen either napping, primping, or admiring his jewelry (all of which -- including napping -- Michael Stroka does with panache). Lucky for Artistede, he battles with the aid of the “Dancing Lady,” an unimposingly small piece of plywood cut into the shape of a wavy knife. Of course, he has no idea how to use it. He holds it blade-out rather than gripping the handle and keeping the blade pointing backwards... for slashing on the upswing, stabbing on the downswing, and it’s bad news for anyone who tries to seize the wrist or forearm. But I digress. Or do I? Aristede’s incompetence is, as always, his undoing. Quentin makes fast work out of him to steal his magic medallion and save the life of his daughter, ailing from the curse of a dead gypsy.

Just read that last sentence over and over again. This is the 800th episode of the show. 799 episodes earlier, we saw the first episode, and I can guarantee that no one involved imagined anything contained in this one. In the prior episode, a severely scarred, bleeding, werewolf-ravaged girl was the subject of the lingering camera. In this, blasphemous prayers to the ghost of a gypsy are the only hope for a dying baby. After that three-year descent into weirdness, Standards and Practices must either look older than the mutated Barnabas or they simply surrendered and camped out at happy hour until 1971. And in a year? The camera will be drinking in the sight of a dead Carolyn, murdered by a ghost, on screen, and morbidly displayed in a haunted playroom in a fetishistic tableau. You know, for the kids.

Not that the beginning of the show lacked bar room brawls and scrappin’, but I don’t need to list the ways in which this is different. The show continues to find ways to top itself, and the circus tent seems to have no roof. Moments later, Quentin’s murder victim/spouse will violently rock the casket-shaped cradle of her own dying daughter. To save her, of course. A demonic doomsday cult cannot be far behind.

Nor should it be. The time slot may be daytime, but the show is anything but.

This episode hit the airwaves Aug. 1, 1969.

The Dark Shadows Daybook: AUGUST 1

By PATRICK McCRAY

Aug. 1, 1966
Taped on this date: Episode: 36

Back from town, Vicki asks about David. Given the danger he poses, she must return home.  Sam Evans calls for Roger, but won’t give his name. When he’s not available, Sam hangs up.  At the Inn diner, Sam looks up to see Roger waiting. Roger is furious that he called for him… his first call there in eighteen years. Sam is not to call Collinwood nor take portrait commissions from Burke. Sam says Burke won’t let him out of it. Roger says to protect himself, Sam will do as he says. Meanwhile, Liz tells Vicki that she can contain David. This persuades her to stay, but an eavesdropping David scowls. As they leave, David loudly reiterates her desire to stay. Liz calls him into the drawing room and debates with him about his attitude toward the future and how she is there to help him. He begs her not to stop loving her. Roger enters and cites him as a potential murderer. He says he promises not to do anything else bad. He goes off to bed with Roger’s cattiest wishes for pleasant dreams. Vicki goes to the Inn diner where Sam approaches. He warns her of death on the hill. Liz returns to the drawing room, and Roger rants about Liz’s “help” that’s hurt everyone. He says Collinwood might vanish and she would never know. He exits as Vicki reenters. Liz calls for Ned Caulder in Portland, but he’s not available. Vicki overhears this.

Newsflash! Vicki wants to leave Collinwood, but Liz talks her into staying. Roger warns Sam to stay away. David hates Vicki. Roger is a terrible father. Where have we heard this before? Oh yes, on every episode prior to this one. These early soaps were, by necessity, repetitive. They also said the same thing again and again. As well as covering the same material more than once. I think I mentioned this in the past.

(Episode 26 airs on this date.)

Aug. 1, 1967
Taped on this date: Episode: 296

Dave is amazed when a hypnotized Maggie has no memory. She also has no memory of Dr. Hoffman. There’s no memory as to her kidnapping nor time at Windcliff. She learns everyone thought she was dead. Her entire memory after the time before her disappearance began is gone. Sam is elated to see her. Dave is skeptical, but Julia plays it cool. With her father, she begins to remember her attacker, but then breaks down before the image is clear. Sam wants to take her home, but Julia wants her at Windcliff for longer. Sam insists on taking her home. The sheriff will stand guard. Julia will continue to treat her, but she must keep Julia’s identity as a doctor a secret. Back at home, Maggie feels understandably paranoid. Sam calms her that guards are everywhere. Joe enters, and the reunion is tender and immediate. She wants to know if she were crazy. Joe says no, and vows to keep her from danger. At the Old House, Julia visits Barnabas and reports that Maggie’s mind is wiped. She will keep Maggie’s mind wiped as long as Barnabas allows Julia’s work to continue. If anything happens to Maggie, she will expose Barnabas. A cock springs awake to herald the sunrise, and as Barnabas returns to his coffin, he concludes that Maggie must die to protect his identity. At Maggie’s room, a wolf howls and Maggie finds Sarah’s doll beside her bed.

When in doubt, have Sam and Joe elated to see Maggie back to normal… or is she? Julia’s journey is from ignorant strength to terror and then, back to strength. The highlight?  When she lights her cigarette on the Old House candles while blackmailing Collinwood’s mightiest monster. Never before has Barnabas looked down the barrel of a cigarette holder.

(Episode 287 airs on this date.)

Aug. 1, 1968
Taped on this date: Episode: 559

Angelique finds Nicholas admiring himself in a mirror. Barnabas has agreed to the experiment in exchange for Vicki’s freedom. Angelique feels the sting about his Barnabas’s comparatively greater love. He then asks Angelique to gaze into a mirror where they see Vicki tied up. He’s going to allow a trapped Vicki to escape. The door to her room opens. She examines the threshold. She begins to leave and Nicholas gloats about what is to come. Vicki descends the stairs to find the front door locked. In the living room, the doors and windows are also locked. Josette’s music box plays. Nicholas’ voice calls her name. He tells her she’s been there before. She can go as soon as she tells him who he is and where she is. He tells her to think and listen. She cries in ignorance. But the voice says that this is the Old House. That means the voice must be Barnabas. Convinced of these things, she says she will go to Collinwood to see Jeff. She is ordered to go back to Collinwood as fast as she can. She exits, thoroughly bluffed. Nicholas gloats to Angelique. He has business to attend to and leaves Angelique to be a bored prisoner, waiting. At the Evans cottage, Maggie greets Nicholas, who apologizes for keeping her waiting about the painting purchase. She reports that Joe is being released from the hospital. A knock at the door and… it’s Joe, home from the hospital. She introduces the two men. Maggie goes to get drinks and the two men size each other up. They toast to Joe’s future, and it bringing him all that he deserves. At Collinwood, Jeff finishes a call to the sheriff. Jeff says he’ll keep looking. At that moment, Vicki arrives. They embrace. She claims to have been at the Old House, but he says she’s been missing for two days. Jeff points out that her engagement ring is missing. At the cottage, Maggie convinces Joe that she and Nicholas are just friends. Nicholas, with Angelique, convinces her that Joe is coming. If not, her next victim will still be Joe Haskell.

Nicholas Blair may be a horrible man, but he’s a charming surgeon who works with exacting precision and never, as he says, makes the same mistake twice. When he leaves Angelique at home to be bored, it’s the very picture of a confident parent dealing with a petulant child. Parker, a mom, must have had experience. His natty enthusiasm makes him look like he zipped straight off the opening credits to BEWITCHED. The only other actor to have as much fun in his chemistry with Maggie and Angelique was Jonathan Frid. Guess which one got to enjoy it?

(Episode 549 airs on this date.)