The Dark Shadows Daybook: DECEMBER 12

By PATRICK McCRAY

Taped on this date in 1969: Episode 922

When Amanda Harris has a long delayed date with death, Julia learns that the best is yet to come! Werewolf: Alex Stevens. (Repeat; 30 min.)

Grant Douglas investigates the Tate house only to confront a werewolf and promptly punch him. The werewolf flees only to briefly encounter Amanda Harris, who confesses to Julia about her past. Spurned by Quentin in 1897 New York, on a really impressionistic bridge set, she tried to leap to her death after being greeted by an aging dandy named “Mr. Best.” Going unconscious, Amanda wakes up in a strange, otherworldly hotel lobby called “The Stopping-Off Place.” Mr. Best agrees to keep her young until a day on which she is destined to die. She needs to find Quentin, first. Decades later, she is still young. As she finishes telling all to Julia, a knock on the door reveals, you guessed it, Mr. Best.

There is so much going on in episode 922 that you would need the combined powers of all of Craigslist to unpack it. I mean it. And it has more Zen implications than a Kung Fu reunion movie. Right here.

This minor storyline? This old thing, you ask? Why are you making a big deal out of that? Aren't we just waiting for Christopher Pennock to show up?

Well, cosmically, we always are. But let's focus on Dark Shadows. Mr. Pennock will be glad that there will be actual, serious, Zen material later in the article, but I gotta talk about my vampire stories, first.

Because it doesn't really feel connected to anything as important as the Barnabas/Josette/Angelique core story, and because it all kind of loiterers at the beginning of a Leviathan storyline that will still be going on, bafflingly, months from now, this segment is easy to write-off. Or maybe it's easy to write it off because, while its story elements are more interesting than anything else going on, the show's treatment of them feels almost dismissive, at best. Yes, I realize that they are in a hurry to get Quentin back, but once they do, they don't seem to know what to do with him. Here. In the Stopping-Off Place. Because here, dueling with Mr. Best, he has a purpose. And his immortality gives him the unique sparring partner that only an anthropomorphised death could really be. Unfortunately, this is almost a case of, “what if someone gave a storyline and nobody showed up?” Like the prior episode, “Quentin, Chris, and the Foppish Android,” this is a great idea with so little airtime and arc impact that I have to remind myself that it happened. I need to consider this my permanent Post-It. 

There is a huge question lurking in and around this episode, and that’s “Who’s in charge?” In a little over a year, we have met three contenders for the Ultimate Boss of Evil in the DSU, and it can be debated who are the puppets and who is the hand….

Bachelor #1 runs an immense operation of punishment, demons, and Gothic office furniture. He likes the music of JS Bach, blonde women, and dominating the world through an army descended from the union of reanimated cadavers. Give a sunny Burbank welcome to “Diabolos.”

Bachelor #2 is a already hooked up, but looking for a third! He and his partner may be snakes in the grass, but that’s only because these nature lovers predate time, itself, and they wish to bring about the rebirth of an ageless serpent god to consume the planet. Heads of an immense, secret cult of powerful publishers and ludicrous, fur coat-wearing hipsters, get out the heat lamps for Oberon and Haza.

Bachelor #3 is the special guest star of this episode. A smooth-talking man-about-town, he loves fine suits, friendly wagers, and A View from the Bridge. Drop in at his saloon, The Stopping Off Place. And don’t be in a hurry when you say hello to the original ladykiller. Won’t you find out why they all call him “Mr. Best”?

I’d like to say that my money is on the Caretaker, but I think I can build a more solid case for Mr. Best. Why? It’s a process of elimination… and of limits. Oberon and Haza are much like Diabolos -- all three are obsessed with ruling the world. When you have an entire universe of planets to meddle with, wanting to rule these balding and squabbling apes seems a tad unambitious. I guess it’s to get back at a god who displaced them, but they must not be that great or they would never be bent on revenge. And who needs to rule existence, anyway? The upkeep and insurance are outrageous. And don’t even get me started on the utilities. As I shoulder all of that burden, does existence raise even a finger to help me? I think we both know the answer. All existence does is take perfectly good matter and turn it into energy, leaving me to spend half the morning turning it back into matter. And existence still doesn’t even have the decency to come by once a week or so and watch an episode with me for the Daybook.

Well, existence, you’ll get yours. You gotta sleep sometime, and when you do? Bang! Kobayashi Maru! That’s my friend, Mr. Best. You know… your other binary half. Did I say half? I meant more than half. Death is the transition between being and nothingness, and he is the Lord of Nothingness. Have you ever tried to take Nothing away from him? Nothing. Not just the absence of something. Nope. Nothing. Nothing in a form we can’t even conceive, because to do so would be to dignify it with a name, and once you describe it, it stops being Nothing and becomes a Thing. There you go, Mr. Best. Ruler of everything as it goes on to become something indescribable.

So, what does he do? Well, he’s the ruler of death, not time. He’s not psychic. Now that matter exists, he might as well do a tad of wagering. Amanda Harris. Wants to off-it by jumping off a bridge. Well, Tate created her, so who knows if she’ll die? But… wait. By creating matter from only imagination -- and from bending both matter and energy through paintings that transmute or bestow the effects of both matter and energy….

Oh, man. Mr. Best isn’t the most powerful being in the DSU anymore. I actually think it’s Charles Delaware Tate.

Roger Davis. Roger Davis. 

Yeah, Charles Delaware Tate.... and he still lost a babe to Quentin! 

Why? Because, as this episode demonstrates, Quentin can punch a werewolf right on the jaw. That’s the important part. He lands the ladies because he knows all of the werewolfian weaknesses.  We can pontificate all we want, but we tuned in for a man punching a werewolf. A man punching a werewolf we received.

And that’s how you get Capone.

This episode was broadcast Jan. 6, 1970.

The Dark Shadows Daybook: DECEMBER 12

By PATRICK McCRAY

Taped on this date in 1966: Episode 126

David reveals Vicki’s location to Roger and Burke. Meanwhile, Matthew sharpens his axe, ready to kill Vicki. Josette’s ghost appears to Vicki to reassure her, and as Matthew begins his attack, the ghosts of Bill Malloy and the Widows (which sounds like a band name) arrive and frighten him to death, as he swings his weapon wildly. Roger and Burke burst into the Old House to find Matthew dead and Vicki in need of rescue. 

Josette’s ghost first appeared in full form in 102, and Bill Malloy appeared yesterday in 125... but those were appetizers compared to the main course in 126. Really, until Quentin took over Collinwood and the show in early 1969, this episode might have been the high point for spectral apparitions on DS. It takes 125 episodes of getting it kinda right, but 126 is one of the most red letter installments in the series. The program might have gone on the air on June 13, but it was on December 12 that cameras captured the first real episode of DARK SHADOWS.  Not only do we get Matthew Morgan at his most blitheringly insane… not only do we get him casually grinding axes… not only do we get a damseled Vicki awaiting execution… not only do we get multiple ghosts attacking and killing a psychopath… but we also get Frank Schofield performing a seaweed-drenched musical number. Oh, and David’s father runs around the estate with a loaded shotgun… and Roger even tags along. I kid, I kid.



Early appearances of the supernatural were always sure signs of dipping ratings. “Daddy,” Dan Curtis’ kids wisely inquired, “why don’t you make it scary?” This was almost exactly six months into the run, shortly before the year’s end, with Christmas break rolling out across the nation. Accounting time at a network. Decisions getting made. Dan Curtis took the first of many risks and it payed off in what may be the most pivotal installment of the series. After this, there would be a dearth of non-supernatural plot elements. In fact, only one of significance: Jason McGuire. Unlike issues of pens and bleeder valves, that story (kinda) solved the mystery that had dominated the show from the beginning -- and did it with immediate, good, old-fashioned blackmail, executed by one of the series’ most engaging actors. But starting here, that’s blip. 126 is an exciting, tight, dense, fast-moving episode. Chronologically, it’s the first one that I show to people when I want to say, “That’s DARK SHADOWS.”

On this day in 1966, the film version of Robert Bolt’s play, A MAN FOR ALL SEASONS, premiered. I prefer the later version with Charlton Heston, but few can fault the original, Academy Award-winning interpretation or the virile turn by Robert Shaw as the king it depicts.

The Dark Shadows Daybook: DECEMBER 12

By PATRICK McCRAY

Taped on this date in 1966: Episode 126

Matthew intends to kill Vicki to satisfy the Widows. Meanwhile, David tells Burke and Roger where she is, leading the two men to break out the guns and go on a manhunt. As Matthew sharpens his axe, the ghost of Josette appears to Vicki to calm her nerves. Eventually, Bill Malloy’s ghost is joined by those of the Widows, who unite to kill Matthew by sheer fright. Or his diet high in saturated fat.

When we Collinsport Historical Society Irregulars did our “Ten Favorite DARK SHADOWS Episodes,” I’m not certain I’d yet re-re-re-reviewed this one. While it falls outside the essential Barnabas/Angelique narrative that I featured in my list, 126 is an unsurpassed twenty minutes of television, and it could be the most daring and important episode of the series -- even more so than 210 (or 211 or 212… whichever one introduces Barnabas in the way that works best for you). Episode 1 may be the premier of the show, but 126 is DARK SHADOWS’ first proper episode. If you get what I mean.

Okay, so what’s the big deal? This is not an episode that hints, teases, nor alludes to the supernatural. Rather, it blasts out out of the cathode cannon and right into the audience’s amygdala, ready or not. 126 establishes Collinwood as a place where the true and uncompromising residents are the ghosts, with humans as meddling short timers. This is not a program of mild supernatural innuendo, just delicate enough to leave sacrosanct the delicate sensibilities of those housewives who watch while putting the finishing touches on that ham loaf for the Wednesday church supper. This is not typical, thumb-twiddling, soap-opera time wasting. By God, Matthew’s got an axe, Burke and Roger have broken out the guns, and the ghosts of Bill Malloy and Josette team up to beat everyone to the punch. Patience? Bite it. Your day has come. On tonight’s DARK SHADOWS, we gotta rumble!

Episode 126 is also a taste of what I think Rob Zombie’s DARK SHADOWS would have been like. First of all, the story is told extremely well, with the actors hitting every note the writers set down.  Additionally, it’s raw, violent, and grimly funny, with Thayer David menacing and goofy as a deranged and deluded (down east) redneck killing machine.

History? It’s all over the place in this one. Kathryn Leigh Scott speaks as Josette, truly going from an apt-looking stand-in to inventing the role that would cement her as one of the series’ four or five most crucial actors. We bid farewell to Matthew Morgan, but with such panache that it was just a warm-up for Thayer David. Bill Malloy is seen once more… with a musical number! Short of some kind of Orbach’s engineered wardrobe malfunction, this is not only a great DARK SHADOWS episode, it’s also, as the ad copy for THE RIGHT STUFF declared, “where the future begins.”