Pdocast flashback: An interview with John Karlen

We lost John Karlen this week. As someone who runs a website that's supposed to be fun and engaging, it always feels a little ghoulish to use these kinds of losses to give my website traffic a bump. At the same time, I've got content that people want to see, so it's foolish -- maybe even selfish -- to keep it under lock and key. In this case it's a 2013 interview with Karlen counducted by Marie Maginity for The Collinsport Historical Society podcast. This is one of many episodes that were tossed into the vaults following the podcast's integration with Spotify. This episode hasn't been available to the public for a while now.

The episode is a little rough around the edges ... Karlen was recuperating in a hospital at the time, which didn't help is already cantankerous mood. But it's one of our most popular episodes, and features Karlen talking about his childhood, acting career and his experience as henchman/hero Willie Loomis on Dark Shadows.

You can listen to the interview streaming below, or download it as an MP3 by clicking HERE.

In Memoriam: John Karlen (1933-2020)

Anyone familiar with show business, Dark Shadows, or the laws of physics knew this was coming. It had been coming for a long time. But it took so long, and John Karlen was so perpetually in medical trouble, it became shamefully unreal. Just painful details. It’s like he was refusing to go anywhere that didn't have good, hot, Polish food at the ready. From the outside, the situation became beyond fatalistic. He just became eternal, like one of the characters that he played.

I think this is a tougher death in the family to contend with because of that. We were always waiting for the other shoe to fall, and the other shoe was always falling, and yet nothing had hit our heads. It’s that strange and unique relationship and non-relationship that we have with celebrities who feel closer than family, and yet most of us have never met.

He was the greatest example of the Tao on Dark Shadows. Unspeakably brave and yet impossibly cowardly, to an extent that would shame the most cautious old biddy or fussiest mama's boy in the south. He was beyond an everyman. As Willie Loomis, he brought us the best and worst in all of us, and always with the most inconvenient timing. There comes a point that the hipster John Karlen fades away behind fabulous sunglasses, and all that is left is Willie Loomis. Maybe that’s because all that’s left of any of us is, ultimately, Willie Loomis.

On a show about death, he was the antithesis — fighting for life, fighting for a fair chance, fighting to be heard. Most of all, fighting himself and his own base impulses. Barnabas had no sidekicks with whom we would really want to identify. Instead, he had us, whether we liked it or not.

But beyond the character of Willie Loomis, there was a gladiatorial spirit in Karlen that represented the ultimate zest for living, cranky and tempestuous and impatient at the end, because that man still had a lot of living to do. As to his passing, there are details. And it is in the spirit of true irresponsible journalism that I write this in absolute dread of looking at them. The man died. Time and fate and reality are taking him from us. And I think that's bad enough for tonight.

The details are out there to be found. And if you want to gaze upon them, I understand why. Having written a number of obituaries for the Collinsport Historical Society, this one is different. I don’t want the details of his death. As someone who faces celebrity deaths with a fair degree of resigned, Buddhist inevitability, in this case, Buddha can take a powder. More than I imagined, I find myself just wanting him back. And I want him back as he was and as we were 30 or 40 years ago. He was the man who gave us Barnabas Collins, whether he liked it or not. And he was Quentin’s pal, proceeding to the chopping block like he was striding down Las Vegas Blvd. alongside Frank Sinatra. And he was also the guy who wasted no time shooting Fib and pining for Pansy Faye in a voice that truly made us want to punch Carl in the mouth, but with love. Always. And then there’s the chicken with Adam. And that tie that all good reformed hoods wore, because Willie Loomis was every neighborhood thug from Bridgeport that Dan Curtis could save through art. And he did.

Ultimately, Dark Shadows is about aristocracy. Of course, the Collins family. But beyond that, the actors. The stars are our aristocrats. But was he?  Perhaps he was beyond. He had a rude, strange, and crusty nobility. Ultimately, Falstaff to Frid’s Hamlet and Scott’s Miranda. But unlike the gracious luminaries, he was A Guy. He was OUR guy.

When one of the stars passes away, you can see the actors tighten up and close ranks, as well they should. And as well they will for John Karlen, because he was a guy... because he was their guy in a way we can never understand. Let us praise the bumbler he brought us, who, like us, had no business at Collinwood, and who had the misfortune of putting his throat in the way of the hand thrusting up from the coffin. We would’ve done the same thing. Yes, for the stars, he is their own. But he was also one of us. He is ours. This one is going to leave a mark. And we will wear it proudly. There are biographical articles. Read them. He deserves it.

Long live Willie Loomis, and you’ll forgive me if I just can’t write the words that should precede that sentiment. Long live the spirit of the man who brought Loomis and company into our lives.

Right now, he is the finest man whoever breathed.

- Patrick McCray

Joe Bob Briggs Vs. the Other John Karlen Vampire Movie

Shudder, AMC Networks' premium streaming service devoted to horror movies, is celebrating the premiere of THE LAST DRIVE-IN WITH JOE BOB BRIGGS on July 11 with a screening of 1971's DAUGHTERS OF DARKNESS. Known here at the CHS as "The Other John Karlen Vampire Movie," DoD is a kinky/glam classic about decadent bloodsuckers starring Delphine Seyrig,  Danielle Ouimet and original recipe "Willie Loomis," John Karlen.

The screening begins at 7:15 p.m. at Nitehawk Cinema, 136 Metropolitan Ave. Brooklyn, New York, beginning with an introduction by Joe Bob Briggs, himself. You can order tickets to the event online HERE.

This is probably the only time you'll find the names "Joe Bob Briggs" and "Delphine Seyrig" in the same sentence, although eagle-eyed fans of "Day of the Jackal" will remember her as the hottie who has a (deadly) one-night stand with the Jackal on his way to assassinate DeGaulle. https://t.co/ReuRgjGRGR

— Joe Bob Briggs (@therealjoebob) July 4, 2018

THE LAST DRIVE-IN WITH JOE BOB BRIGGS, a 24-hour marathon of 13 cult classic movies available exclusively to Shudder members, begins at 9 p.m. EST on Friday, July 13. Films already announced as part of the marathon include TOURIST TRAP, BASKET CASE and SLEEPAWAY CAMP. (If you don't already know who Joe Bob Briggs is, then it's already too late to save you.)

If you can't make the screening, fret not. You can find DAUGHTERS OF DARKNESS sans Joe Bob streaming on Amazon Prime HERE.

That other John Karlen vampire movie is on Amazon Prime

DAUGHTERS OF DARKNESS, the kinky/glam movie about decadent French vampires that John Karlen made in the wake of HOUSE OF DARK SHADOWS, is now streaming on Amazon Prime.

It's a strange movie that not enough people have seen, partly because of what was happening in the market place at the time of its release. During 1970-71 the cinematic Vampire Arms Race had escalated significantly, with everyone from Dan Curtis, Hammer Studios, AIP and Toho (?!) doing their best to make nosferatu relevant again. Audiences had so many traditional monsters to choose from in those years that many simply died on the vine. The arthouse sensibilities of DAUGHTERS OF DARKNESS didn't exactly give it a competitive edge.

If you're unfamiliar with the film, here's the official log line:

"International screen icon Delphine Seyrig stars as Elizabeth Bathory, an ageless Countess with a beautiful young 'companion' (Andrea Rau) and a legendary legacy of perversion. But when the two women seduce a troubled newlywed couple, they unleash a frenzy of sudden violence and depraved desire that shocked both art house audiences and grindhouse crowds worldwide."

You can find DAUGHTERS OF DARKNESS streaming on Amazon Prime by clicking HERE. For those of you who want to dive a little deeper, there's also a Blu-ray available that features a commentary track by John Karlen available at the same link.

Trilogy of Terror coming to blu-ray in 2018

The Dan Curtis 1975 TV movie TRILOGY OF TERROR has never had the chance to completely disappear from popular culture. This is mostly due to the strength of the tale's final act, "Amelia," which unleashed the so-called "zuni fetish warrior" onto the world. The movie was an anthology showcase for actress Karen Black, but nobody much remembers the other two stories (which feature DARK SHADOWS alumni James Storm and a misspelled John Karlen.) For better or worse, the zuni fetish warrior upstaged them all.

We're all a little confused, John.

Since 1975, TRILOGY OF TERROR has floated around cable and syndicated television, VHS, DVD and just about every major online media provider (you can watch it right now on Amazon Prime.) The zuni fetish warrior was even revived in the 1996 sequel TRILOGY OF TERROR II, which put the angriest little muppet in battle against  Lysette Anthony, "Angelique" from 1991's DARK SHADOWS. The ZFW has had a least one official action figure likeness, cameos in VENTURE BROS (above), the Stephen King series NIGHTMARES & DREAMSCAPES and Full Moon's PUPPET MASTER series ... the little dude's a superstar.

So, where does TRILOGY OF TERROR go from here? If you've read the headline, you already know: Kino Lorber Studio Classics has announced a blu-ray edition is coming to home video in 2018. While an announcement about special features is pending (as is a firm release date, cover art, etc.) the disc will include an all-new HD transfer. Stay tuned!

In defense of NIGHT OF DARK SHADOWS, 1972

Thoughtful reviews of the original DARK SHADOWS feature films can be difficult to find. At the start of the 1970s, film criticism was still a superficial medium, rarely discussing the theatrical experience as anything more than just ephemeral entertainment. As horror films,  HOUSE and NIGHT OF DARK SHADOWS were doubly damned and about as likely to get meaty reviews as whatever might be playing at your local porno theater.

Below is the transcript of a review of NIGHT OF DARK SHADOWS, published in the first issue of Thriller in 1972. Thriller was a pretty typical fanzine, published on the cheap and written by people in love with a particular subject. Consequently, the opinions in these kinds of publications are better informed than what you'd find in their mainstream counterparts, though the writing was sometimes inferior. This review, by the magazine's editor Jerry Weddle, is a perfect example of that dichotomy. Weddle knows his stuff, but he makes a few glaring errors and dwells so much on the film's flaws that his positive review comes across as decidedly negative.

I've noted a few of the writer's mistakes in the transcript, and corrected a few (but not all) of the typos. This might lead you to ask, "Then why the hell are you sharing this?" Despite these inaccuracies, Weddle had some interesting things to say about the movie, Dan Curtis and the DARK SHADOWS phenomenon as a whole. He also does a good job of presenting the cultural context NIGHT OF DARK SHADOWS, which was not competing against the original television series, but against movies like TWINS OF EVIL and COUNT YORGA.

There are other nuggets of trivia embedded in the story, which you can read for yourself below ...

NIGHT OF DARK SHADOWS
Thriller #1, 1972

This further mining of Dan Curtis's ABC-TV series DARK SHADOWS makes its second big screen appearance, and a good one at that. While Dan Curtis is quite a remarkable producer/director, his films have always failed in one way or another, usually due to a weak screenplay, when if written properly they could have been superior to the majority of feature films currently being released by major studios. Such was the case with his first motion picture, HOUSE OF DARK SHADOWS, which was not nearly as good as his two telefilms, THE STRANGE CASE OF DR. JEKYLL AND MR. HYDE and Richard Matheson's THE NIGHT STALKER. The later film was go successful on TV it will soon be released to theaters, and Curtis is now working on a major motion picture for MGM, again DR. JEKYLL AND MR. HYDE to star Sir Laurance Olivier and James Mason.

In comparison to HOUSE, NIGHT is much better. The first DARK SHADOWS film had the most inept, ludicrous, unpalatable script ever written for a notion picture, but for this sequel the screenplay written by Curtis and Sam Hall is almost first-rate in my opinion. The opera in a supernatural and gothic extremely well developed (Hammer’s John Elder could learn from that!) and the theme is coherent and interesting. In particular, Curtis and Hall do an admirable job on character development and premise, and even the setting — a grim, ancient old mansion overrun by spooks — acts as a character and not merely a background. The pacing of the film is essentially slow, and its only flaw lies in the fact that, with the exception of the last 25 minutes or so, the film moves at such an aggravating, dull pace it becomes an over-long bore. And everything — the photography, settings, music — adds to this stagnation, and as a result the entire affair becomes a trifle pretentious. It is also dead serious, (too) much so, some humor or satire is sorely needed to liven (not the ghosts, just the people) things up a bit. In fact, I’m sure that if humor had been incorporated the slow pace would not have been noticeable, meaning that NIGHT OF DARK SHADOWS could have been perfect. Everything about the film is natural and creative, like the dialogue, and the conventional script resembles THE RETURN OF COUNT YORGA in some ways.

Quentin Collins (David Selby) arrives at the old Collinwood mansion with his bride, Tracey (Kate Jackson), where they are greeted by their new tenants, Alex and his wife Claire Jenkins (John Karlen and Nancy Barrett) Quentin is an artist, and he sets to work painting in the strange tower room he is haunted by illusions of the dead witch, Angelique (Lara Parker) who was hanged in the 18th century. The housekeeper Carlotta Drake (Grayson Hall) and her wicked nephew, Gerard (James Storm) warns Tracey to leave Collinwood and let the evil spirit of Charles Collins take over Quentin’s body. Gradually, Quentin's personality becomes more and more like that of his dead ancestor, he tries to drown Tracey and it is his love for the witch that is keeping her alive. But Alex and Claire discover what is happening, and they try to save their friends. In the flashback sequences to the 18th century, we learn that Angelique was in love with Charles, but she was condemned to death by her real husband (Christopher Pennock), Charles's wife (Donna Wandrey) and the resident witch-burner (Thayer David) against Charles's will. In short, all are reincarnations of their turbulent past and the dead come to call on the living. (EDITOR'S NOTE: Weddle refers to Donna Wandrey several times in this feature. Wandrey does not appear in the movie. He's most likely referring to Diana Millay.)

David Selby delivers a very well-drawn characterization in the dual, difficult role of Charles/Quentin Collins, and Grayson Hall, who won the 1964 Oscar for best supporting actress in NIGHT OF THE IGUANA, is equally good as the sinister maid who knows all the secrets of the old mansion. John Karlen (who appeared in the Belgian vampire flick, DAUGHTERS OF DARKNESS) and Nancy Barrett are both quite good as the novelist team who try to save their friends, and Kate Jackson gives a fine, earnest performance as Quentin's mistreated bride; She (cries) a lot and is a great screamer. The rest of the cast, including Thayer David who has three other screen credits to his name, all perform adequately.  (EDITOR'S NOTE: Grayson Hall was nominated for Best Supporting Actress in 1964 for NIGHT OF THE IGAUNA, but lost to Lila Kedrova in ZORBA THE GREEK.)

The Lyndhurst Mansion, located in Tarrytown, New York, used for Collinwood, was restored by Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer just for this film (in HOUSE it looked dilapidated and shabby, which it was at the time). The interiors are extraordinarily designed, the rooms are elaborately furnished with a lavish, beautiful style that contributes a great deal of quality to the film. The house itself is deliciously spooky-looking, what with all the lurking shadows, ghostly windows, imposing towers, creeping doors, etc.

Hanz Holzer, the celebrated ghost hunter, was technical adviser on the film, go one might say that it is "parapsychologically accurate" in the nerve-wracking scenes where the dead take over the living's bodies.

The music score by Robert Cobert is not worth discussing.

Producer/director Dan Curtis does nothing by the rules; he’s a masterful director, and unquestionably as (remarkable) a director as Terence Fisher and Freddie Francis. Curtis is a compliment to the genre, and like the best of them he has his own style, techniques and ideas, and he uses then with a keen sense of know-how and discernability.  Let's hope that someday he will choose a script as good as his talents, for there is no telling what he can accomplish with good material.

NIGHT OF DARK SHADOWS is a darned good movie, one of last year’s very best. And for those of you who think the soap—opera is silly, you must admit that it much more original than Hammer's boy-saves-girl-from-monster stories, and on an equal level with the Count Yorga films. 

Monster Serial: DAUGHTERS OF DARKNESS, 1971

By MARIE MAGINITY

Ah, Belgium: home of chocolate, waffles, pale ale and vampire lesbian films. Well, one, anyway. “Daughters of Darkness” is a cult classic dripping with sensuality, stunning photography and symbolism. Lots of symbolism.

The film starts off with a bang. Literally. The train goes speeding down the track as a young couple get about as creative as you can in a sleeper berth. Focus on the bride’s white bridal bouquet, looking quite virginal.

Yes, the horror movie begins with a young, honeymooning couple. Isn’t that cute? Their happiness is short lived, however. As they lie together in post coital bliss, the girl asks, “Stefan, do you love me?”
“No.” That was quick. The flowers aren’t even dead yet.

 
Valerie (Danielle Ouimet) is established from the start as sweet, innocent, compliant; in fact she has VICTIM written all over her. And that’s all you get, since we learn nothing about her or why the young lady married this strange man she just met. Or why Valerie is from Switzerland and has a French-Canadian accent. 

Stefan (John Karlen) seems to be hiding something when he continually puts off telling his mother about their recent nuptials. He lives in an English manor, was raised in America, yet sports an accent of vague European origin. It works for his character, though, and manages to keep his Brooklynese at bay.

Now on to main event: the couple ends up being the only guests in an ominous, grand hotel in Ostend—until a vintage red sedan pulls up, building to one of my favorite entrances of all time: The Countess Elizabeth Bathory (Delphine Seyrig) who commandeers the film from the first glimpse of her ruby lips.

The countess is a mysterious, stylish Marlene Dietrich look-alike traveling with a pouty-lipped Louise Brooks clone, Ilona (Andrea Rau) whom she refers to as her “secretary.” Just two lonely ladies looking to make new friends and share a drink or two.

Seyrig’s performance is deliciously understated as she sets out to seduce the young couple—first the vampire gets Stefan off with descriptions of how she would brutalize and torture virgins in order to bathe in and drink their blood. Yes, Valerie, your husband has just been revealed as a very sick puppy.

Then Ilona hits on Valerie, Elizabeth hits on Valerie, Ilona hits on Stefan. Come on, folks, let’s just all rip off our clothes and jump in the pool.

But our lovely countess is the mistress of manipulation, and when she and Stefan butt heads over who gets to keep the victim, guess who wins. The husband is so unsettled at the prospect of calling his mother, he viciously lashes out at the conniving bitch who made him do it, driving her right into the arms of the consoling, honey-voiced vampire.

Worst honeymoon ever.

I can’t go further without mentioning the Mother scene, a compete WTF moment, and played over the top by Dutch filmmaker Fons Rademakers, who lives in an English manor and has a Castilian accent. Mother lounges on pink and lavender satin pillows, sniffs an orchid and chides his boy toy over the telephone for being foolish…or just unrealistic.

Oh, Mother, your time was too short. You are the stuff from which prequels are made.

About this time, the body count is starting to climb, resulting in three of the most camp, improbable death scenes in film history. First Ilona manages to stab herself in the back with a razor, Stefen ends up served under glass (ending in a picturesque, Jesus pose—is this symbolic?) and the countess goes the way of all vampires—on the stake…or does she?

At first glance, it seems Elizabeth met her doom and Valerie assumed the vampire’s persona in the epilogue, but the actress was dubbed with Seyrig’s voice, implying to me that the countess switched bodies at the last moment and survived to drink another day. You learn tricks like that when you’re 600 years old. I’m not sure which ending is better or which was the filmmaker’s intention.

 
This film is worth watching for the director’s stylistic surrealism, lots of eye candy and Delphine Seyrig’s outstanding performance. It’s also worth it to buy or rent the DVD just for the extras.

First is the commentary by Flemish director Harry Kümel who whines incessantly throughout the viewing. He chose to film in English, despite a mostly German and French cast speaking phonetically, and then complains about the girls’ acting. Karlen is too old and does not have enough “beefcake.” But he dotes on Delphine, who reassured him, “don’t worry, when I am on the screen, they will look at nothing else.”

This essay is one of dozens featured in our new
book, "Taste the Blood of Monster Serial."

Kümel also discusses his meticulous camera shots and can spout a lot of film history. And don’t forget the in-your-face symbolism. Deep blue and gray exteriors, everyone costumed in black, white and red. In every scene. Silly me, I thought it stood for death, innocence and blood, but no, they’re the colors of the Nazi flag.

Uh…okay.

To contrast, then listen to the commentary with actor John Karlen who reminisces mostly about getting to romp with gorgeous, naked women, eat outstanding ham sandwiches during a night shoot, and make the acquaintance of another actor who doubled in real life as gourmet chef, in addition to meeting Ouimet’s husband who owned restaurants, and staying for two weeks in Paris at Seyrig’s villa. Hopefully, those moments made up for the show down between Karlen and Kümel when the director slapped Danielle, who went crying to her costar. So, Karlen slugged him.

But let’s not end on an unhappy note. Here’s something to look for. In Ilona’s death sequence on the bathroom floor, you’ll notice the vampire has a tan line.

Marie Maginity is an actor, director, teacher and free-lance writer, living in Bucks County, PA, with one husband, two daughters and two cats. She is known in the Dark Shadows fanfiction world as Mad Margaret.

JOHN KARLEN UPDATE

OCT. 19: John Karlen is back in the hospital. Marie Maginity took to Facebook earlier this week to let people know about the change in his health, which she says was prompted by "bad eating habits." Karlen's son, Adam, delivered the news to her. It's unclear how long Karlen will be in the hospital but, when he's discharged, he will be returning to the rehabilitation center that treated him earlier this year.


OCT. 15: Actor John Karlen was temporarily hospitalized this summer at Studio City Rehabilitation Center in Los Angeles, and was discharged in September. CHS contributor Marie Maginity passed along an update on actor John Karlen on Facebook this weekend, saying:

Just got off the phone with his son, Adam. John is doing well in his new place, but is just as fiesty as ever. Adam tried to take him to the movies recently to see "Prisoners" but they had to leave half way through as Johnny wasn't feeling well. AK and I talked about the possibility of setting up a kind of celebrity chat web site where fans could talk live to their favorite actors. We're going to look into that. What do you guys think? Meanwhile, you may send your good wishes, cards and letters to

John Karlen
739 Tujunga Ave.
Burbank, CA 91501

If you've got any thoughts on the "chat site," please leave them below. Also, John Karlen fans out there will enjoy hearing that Marie's interview with the actor has become one of our most popular podcasts, and is now our third most downloaded episode after only a few weeks.

Review: THE WICKED AND THE DEAD

As a concept, THE WICKED AND THE DEAD is one of the more unappealing DARK SHADOWS stories from Big Finish. The Rev. Gregory Trask has been walled-up an isolated room of Collinwood, left to die by Judith Collins as punishment for his many infidelities. It's a story first told on the original series more than 40 years ago, which makes the outcome of this episode inevitable.

Even though it's been sitting on my shelf for a few years, I've never found the time to listen to it. What purpose did it serve? If the story played out in a way different from how it was presented on the television show, wouldn't that be cheating?

A few weeks back I found myself taking a long drive to Atlanta, Ga., and decided to catch up on some of the DARK SHADOWS audio dramas I'd missed. At the top of the drive's playlist was THE FALL OF THE HOUSE OF TRASK, an episode that re-introduces a character important to this year's Big Finish storyline.

Twenty minutes into the trip, though, I realized I'd been listening to THE WICKED AND THE DEAD by mistake.

It was the happiest of accidents. No, THE WICKED AND THE DEAD doesn't offer many opportunities for writer ERIC WALLACE to alter Trask's fate. It might not fit well with established events from 1897, but Wallace does a great job of giving actors JERRY LACY and JOHN KARLEN material they can really sink their teeth into. Both men have always had phenomenal range, and THE WICKED AND THE DEAD lets them both go a little bit crazy with their deliveries. The performances here are amazing, and Wallace draws out the tension between the two actors throughout it's running time.

Lacy is great, but he's one of those actors who is so consistently good that it's easy to take him for granted (see also TOM HANKS.) Here, he plays Bud Abbott to Karlen's sinister Lou Costello, and carries the dramatic weight of the story: Trask is slowly deconstructed as a character as he's tormented by a phantom that may or may not be the ghost of Carl Collins.

It might be Lacy's story, but it's Karlen's show. His performance here has the kind of energy I hadn't seen from the actor since ... well, since his days on DARK SHADOWS. He gets to play both fool and monster here, and the transitions are perfect. Karlen has been stuck playing domesticated characters for so long that it was refreshing to see him go a little Jack Nicholson.

While the story never gives its players the chance to leave Trask's improvised prison cell, their back and forth lets them explore the extensive history of the Trask family. Wallace plays around with notions of memory in this episode, creating the illusion that the story moves around more than it really does. THE WICKED AND THE DEAD travels from Collinsport, Maine, to Kansas and Massachusetts, as we learn about Trask's questionable upbringing.

And here's where my early concerns about the story began to fall apart. Is THE WICKED AND THE DEAD a little stagebound? Sure. Physically, it really doesn't go anywhere. It's just two men sitting in a darkened room in Collinwood, talking about past experiences.

Only it's not that, either, is it? It's just two actors reading lines in a California recording studio. The performances and writing in this episode are so evocative that you probably won't realize that it's made up of nothing more substantial than words spoken into a microphone. While the idea for the story is less than compelling, the execution more than justifies its existence. I say check it out.

Get well soon, JOHN KARLEN

Jonathan Frid, Kathryn Leigh Scott and John Karlen.

UPDATE #3: KATHRYN LEIGH SCOTT says JOHN KARLEN will soon be leaving the hospital. "Jim Pierson saw Johnny last night, bringing him dinner . . . and I stopped in this morning at nine a.m. to see him before his son Adam takes him home," Scott announced on her Facebook page. "He looked so much better than when I saw him the first time . . . he's walking on his own and his spirits are great. Adam has found him a small house to live in and he'll have nursing care . . . he's thrilled to be going home! He talked about the tons of cards he got and how much it meant to see us . . and he said to say "hello!" We sat on his bed talking about our fathers . . . it couldn't have been a better visit."  (Sept. 4, 2013)


UPDATE #2: More from Marie: "John Karlen (Willie Loomis) has diabetes and cancer and is not real happy about having to be in a nursing home. However, all the recent cards and letters he's received have cheered him immensely. If you'd like to send one, the address is: John Karlen, Studio City Rehabilitation Center, Room 10, 11429 Ventura Boulevard Studio City, CA 91604."

UPDATE #1: Marie has posted the following news about Mr. Karlen's status: "He has stabilized and is now eating well. Adam is very happy with all the attention dad has been getting; it's really boosted his spirits. So, thank you, everyone who sent cards and letters. If you didn't, you still can, now would be a great time. I'm hoping to visit our guy in August."

 ******************************************************************

Original Post:

CHS contributor MARIE MAGINITY passed along some distressing news on our Facebook page this morning. Actor JOHN KARLEN's health has taken a turn for the worse. "John Karlen is at Studio City Rehabilition Center, 11429 Ventura Blvd, Studio City, CA 91604 in Room 10," Maginity writes. "Adam (his son) says our guy could use some major cheering up so everyone please write a letter or send a card."

Karlen is best known among DARK SHADOWS fans as Willie Loomis, hapless lackey of vampire Barnabas Collins, though he played many roles during the show's run. He won an Emmy in 1986 for his work on CAGNEY AND LACEY. All of us here at the Collinsport Historical Society are wishing him a speedy recovery.

Bret M. Herholz illustrates THE NIGHT WHISPERS

Artist BRET M. HERHOLZ, whose name is mentioned here from time to time, has posted a few pages of art illustrating the Big Finish audiodrama DARK SHADOWS: THE NIGHT WHISPERS. The episode marked actor JONATHAN FRID's only appearance as BARNABAS COLLINS following the cancellation of the original TV series in 1971, and co-stars JOHN KARLEN and BARBARA STEELE. Written by STUART MANNING, the episode won a Rondo award in 2011.

Here's what Herholz has to say about the art:

Get THE NIGHT WHISPERS from Amazon today!

Frid's voice had aged a great deal when he took on the role again, but it sounded absolutely perfect for the story. You got the impression of an older graver Barnabas Collins. Long since freed from the vampire curse and living the remainder of his unnaturally long life in the Old House.

Stuart gave me permission to adapt a few of his marvelous play into comic book pages. You can see a few of the finished pages above.

Although, I didn't make Barnabas appear "older" because the opening dialogue mentioned him being "unchanged".

You can see all three pages art from THE NIGHT WHISPERS at the artist's blog. Meanwhile, Herholz has a pretty terrific DARK SHADOWS print for auction at Ebay. It's signed, and the auction ends soon. So hurry!

COLLINSPORT SHIPPING: A word of introduction

Hi, my name is Marie and I am a ficaholic.

Fanfiction is fast-acting and highly addictive, and I’m a daily user. I prefer high quality stuff, but I’ll read almost anything: the good, the bad and the grammatically incorrect. Of course, there are limits. It has to be about Dark Shadows (original series), I prefer for the story to include Willie at least somewhere, and the characters’ names must be spelled properly. There is no one in DS named Barnabus, Quenten or Willy.

Me and my boyfriend, Dennis, circa 1978.

When I’m not reading, I am writing, proofing, editing or doing research. In the past year I’ve devoured dozens of interviews and books about teenage hustlers, merchant steam ships, scam artists, prison inmates and the 12-step program. I even attended a couple of AA meetings, where I sat in the back of the room, ate cookies and took notes.

Why, you may ask. My stories can never be published for profit, because I don’t own these characters. Is it because they’re read by a lot of people? Yes, partly. Dark Shadows doesn’t get anywhere near the traffic of a Harry Potter or Twilight fanfic, but the numbers are respectable. Fanfiction.net, at the time of this writing, has 361 stories based on the original series, placing it somewhere between Beverly Hills 90210 and Spartacus: Blood and Sand. That’s not taking into account fics based on the 2012 Tim Burton film (movies are a separate category), which, if combined, would undoubtedly boost the score.

At one point I tried compiling reader statistics of my fanfics from the various sites where they’re posted, and counted more than 3,500 visitors from 32 countries. I’m okay with that. 

Is it for the applause? Hell, yes. Some writers don’t give a shit, but most do, and I’m a sucker for any kind of feedback: emails, comments, kudos or reviews—even the negative ones. In fact, I love it when readers get involved, ranting that Julia must (or must not) be paired with Barnabas, or that Jason is a dick, or they want to punch out Harry Johnson.  They find secret meaning where none was intended and significance in seemingly random events. On more than one occasion, I have altered a story or added a chapter based on their conjecture.

But, and I think other authors will agree, the #1 reason we write is simply that we love Dark Shadows and will not let it end. So, it lives on in prequels, sequels, parallel time and alternate universe.
DS fanfiction has been around for about 40 years. Dealers’ tables were lined with it at the convention I attended around 1978, not that I noticed. I don’t remember much from that festival, but I probably spent most of my time stalking John Karlen and Dennis Patrick. 

 I feel like both an old-timer and new kid on the block, because I watched the show when it originally aired, but wrote my first fanfiction last September. However, I had a predisposition to this addiction from an early age. It happened like this ... (music cue in and your screen goes all wavy).

*

It’s 1967, and I am 10 years old. Wandering the neighborhood, I discover my teenage cousin and her friends huddled on the front porch, all staring wide-eyed through the window at the television set in the living room.

“Whatcha doin’?”

“Watchin’ a soap opera.” Oh. I hate boring soap operas and start to leave. “It’s about a vampire and he’s gonna kill this girl.” Oh! I love horror movies and join them, squeezing in amongst the bigger kids to take a look.

On the screen is a distraught young man sitting by a fountain, agonizing over whether or not to warn the young woman of her impending doom. At that moment I forgot all about my undying devotion to Davy Jones of the Monkees, and Willie Loomis became my drug of choice. Five shots are fired off camera and we all jump, grabbing each other with a communal scream that was heard several blocks away.

Around the time of Victoria Winters’ witchcraft trial, I was kicked out of girl scouts for missing too many meetings. That came as a relief because after-school activities were interfering with my soap opera.

*

It is 1977; I am 20 years old and a theatre major at a university that looked down its academic nose at my love of musical comedy. I submitted a proposal to write and direct an original piece (well, not completely original) for the black box theatre, a venue reserved for undergraduates.

Dark Shadows was in late-night reruns in tandem with Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman, and the combo was very popular on campus, so that was to be my source material. The result was a musical parody titled The Late Shows, and Act I was Dank Shadows (or the Flight of the Fledermaus). It had cheap jokes, Mad Magazine-style song lyrics and featured characters like Barnacle Coffins and Victorian Spinsters. It was a hit with not only DS fans but with the frustrated actors who wanted to sing and dance.

That was my first taste of blood and made me the shameless attention whore I am today.

*

No, it’s not real. It would be cool if it were.

It is 2011, and I am — older. While browsing through Netflix, I came across old episodes of Dark Shadows. Hey, cool, I used to love that show, and there was bad boy Willie, my favorite.

When I had watched every available episode, I started over and watched them again. Soon I was supplementing my addiction on the Internet and discovered that I was not alone. There was a DS community, alive and kicking, with enough websites, forums, photos, stories and videos to keep me from ever cleaning my house again.

Well, forget about the stories. Fanfiction was artistic drivel and a ridiculous waste of time. My older daughter’s obsession with fanfic, anime and manga caused her to flunk all her classes, lose her scholarship and get kicked out of college after the first year.  So my genius kid was now working in a grocery store because she couldn’t stop reading comic books (excuse me, graphic novels) and watching Japanese cartoons. As a result, I was not kindly disposed towards fanfiction.

Yet, her devotion to those genres did not wane, and she tried to suck me into the black hole of fandom by telling me about other kinds of fan-authored publications, like Dark Shadows, for instance. Then Demon Spawn (an affectionate nickname) introduced me to a site called Willie Loomis Saves Collinsport, authored by SaraMonster. It is a temple to John Karlen and, among its resources, is a listing of Williefic by some of the old masters. I clicked on one — just out of curiosity.

It was a story about Willie at a hardware store picking out paint chips for the Old House. What the fuck? I couldn’t get past the first paragraph. Sometime later, though, I went back to read the entire piece, just to vindicate my aspersions.

Of course, I was right; the story was trivial nonsense, and so was the next one and the one after that. Then came the others, a series of transparent setups for Willie to be smacked, tortured, beaten and spanked. They should have their own category titled Fifty Shades of Bruise.

According to this, you find me irresistible.

But there were also love stories, in which Willie mated with Vicky, Carolyn, Maggie, an OC (original character) or the author herself. I can’t count how many times Maggie has begged him to take her virginity and, of course, he always obliges, because he’s a such a nice guy. 

Just when I thought it couldn’t get more ludicrous, I discovered slash, a style of fanfiction which features a homoerotic pairing. According to Wikipedia, this concept, in modern times, traces its roots to Kirk/Spock stories from the original Star Trek series.

Now Willie engaged in rambunctious sheet tumbles with Jason McGuire or agonized over his unrequited love for Barnabas, tempting the vampire by sunbathing naked on a beach rock (can you sunbathe at night?). Locked in a passionate embrace, Willie has an uncontrollable physical response when the master feasts upon his yielding neck. I made myself read every one of these stories, because one must be sufficiently educated on a subject in order to criticize it.

So you see, I initially scoffed at fanfiction, but later came to understand its appeal. However, my favorite character, in my humble opinion, was still a drag. I didn’t much care for the angsty, emo, depressing, woobie Willie: sweet guy, downtrodden underdog and poster child for domestic abuse. I wanted to see bad boy Loomis, the guy from my favorite fan video, Little Willie, by SaraMonster aka TheVampireSara. 

And so it happened one night, during a bout of insomnia, a vignette started to formulate in my head. I have always enjoyed prequels like Peter and the Starcatchers, Wicked and Susan Kay’s The Phantom. It’s cool to be able to manipulate details of a plot to cleverly coordinate with canon (and preferably with ample amounts of alliteration). With the seed planted by Sara’s video, I gave birth to Little Willie, my first fanfiction.

You and me did WHAT?

The time period was altered to begin in 1956, coincidentally the year I was born, because this is fanfic, dammit, and you can do whatever you want. It was the story of a kid who, like me, grew up with a single parent in a lower middle-class neighborhood of nuclear families. His friends had names remarkably similar to my childhood acquaintances, and he was taught in school by the same nuns. We even had the same principal, who would patrol the hallways with his German shepherd like a Nazi commandant.

But Willie and I did not come to the same end so, at some point, our tales had to take different paths. His circumstances must be such as to create the greedy, mean, little shit who would one day break into a coffin. Thus began Willie’s series of misfortunes, exacerbated by poor judgment and a rotten temper. And, occasionally, he does get abused (hey, it’s what the readers want).

My antihero is both a soft-hearted kid and a selfish, impulsive delinquent. I approached the development of his personality like an actor researching a role, using the same process that creates a believable performance to mold a three-dimensional character. This was true for (sometime) antagonists Jason McGuire and Barnabas, as well. It would have been easy to paint them as bad guys, but not as interesting. I happen to know they feel perfectly justified as to what motivates them to act as they do—however misguided that may be.

 In reference to a later story, one reader remarked:

“I think your Willie is stupid, brash, childish, rude, and a likeable dude—in other words, he’s perfect.”

The thing I like best about my Willie is that he’s so imperfect. There are no Mary Sues in my saga. In fact, I don’t think anyone’s even nice, although Vicky is usually at least polite.

*

My daughter has since gone on to a successful career in banking and, in her spare time, studies Japanese and acts as my fanfic consultant and beta reader. Like a good kid, she walked her technology-challenged parent through the confusing process of posting Little Willie at its first home on Fanfiction.net.

Since that time, I discovered other sites to share stories, such as LiveJournal, Yahoo forums, Fanlore.org and Archive of Our Own, to name a few, but I regret posting my series under so many different pseudonyms. The first was DramaLady, which is what my students call me. When registering at the next site, that name was already taken, so I became Mad Margaret, my favorite character in Ruddigore by Gilbert & Sullivan. She’s a Jenny Collins/bat shit crazy woman who lives in a haunted graveyard, so it seemed appropriate.

At the next stop, that moniker was also unavailable so I thought of Elizabeth Bathory, the charismatic lesbian vampire in Daughters of Darkness. Nope. Liz Bathory? Uh-uh. I had to settle for Lizzie_Bathory. When I joined Tumblr, ALL those names were gone, and I became That Bathory Woman. Just to complicate matters, I go by Loui56 on the Yahoo forums and just plain Lou here at CHS; Louise is my middle name.

How did Little Willie grow up to be a six-part series? Like an alcoholic, I don’t know how to have just one. In addition, I was encouraged to continue by Mary Overstreet, famous fanfiction author and co-editor of the KarlenZines, who wrote me long e-mails full of constructive criticism and advice. But the sequel to my prequel, Globetrotters, presented a boatload of problems; I went from writing about things I knew to foreign situations about which I was completely ignorant, so the research began.

Moving on to the third story, The Maine Event, was much easier, because after the first two, I was feeling pretty buzzed. I had finally entered the series’ storyline, from Willie’s arrival in Collinsport to the cliffhanger ending in the secret room of the mausoleum. That necessitated a fourth story, Changes, where we finally meet our favorite bloodsucker. The six chapters cover the six days from the vampire’s entrance to B&W’s arrival at the Old House. I liked the Rosencrantz and Guildenstern approach, playing out scenes that happened offstage in the series and mixing them with my versions of the real ones. I was mindful not to regurgitate verbatim storyline or the original dialogue. It’s been done elsewhere but, frankly, I don’t see the point.

The fifth story was This Old House, and the length leaped from six to 19 chapters, but it covered a lot of material: the whole Maggie kidnapping thing, Jason’s exit, and the evolution of Barnabas and Willie, as individuals and in terms of their relationship. Reception in the early days was slight and polite, but readership with #5 really took off. I don’t know if it was because the vampire came into play (it’s always about you, isn’t it, Barnabas?) or if I was getting better as a writer. As with the previous installments, it nodded, winked and paid homage to the original series while steering its own course.

I had every intention of ending the saga there, I really did, but only a few days later I found myself again at the keyboard, powerless over my addiction. One more chapter, I told myself, just an epilogue — a cute little bit about Christmas. Oops, I ended in a cliffhanger and started plotting my next story.

Interlude introduced Dr. Hoffman to the Old House residents. All my female characters are strong, but she was the queen bee. In the synopsis I described the trio as fanfiction’s premiere dysfunctional family, with Julia as the Jewish mother whose weapons are sedatives and hypnosis instead of chicken soup and brisket. The plot departed from canon big time, creating a comedic, completely AU (alternate universe) story.  For me, it’s the most fun piece in the series, and it has an ending. A definite ending.

Some actors don’t know when to get off the stage, and it was time ring down the curtain. So, to feed my habit, I returned to the first story and started to revise because, along with the characters, my writing had also evolved, and the early stuff looked like crap.

Little Willie (Redux) went from four to nine chapters, like a director’s cut with deleted scenes. The nice part was I now had a following, and folks were interested in my earlier works, even if it meant that they were reading the series out of order. I am currently writing Globetrotters (Redux). It doesn’t score the kind of numbers claimed by This Old House and Interlude but, what the hell, I’m having fun with my adjusted timeline, interjecting bits of history into the plot. There are things I know zoom over the heads of my younger readers, but not all. The chapter about Rocky Horror, which I described as “Willie meets rock ‘n roll transvestite aliens from outer space,” was very popular.

*

During the past year I have been privileged to meet (via internet) and friend a lot of wonderful readers and talented fanfic writers. In future articles I hope to share some of their stories—if they’re still speaking to me after I trashed their work just now.

If you like to read and/or write Dark Shadows fanfic, and would care to talk about it on this blog, email me at dsfanfic (at) gmail.com. Or you can find me lying in the gutter, guzzling fanfiction out of my Kindle in a paper bag.

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The Willie Loomis Saga

I: Little Willie (redux)
II: Globetrotters (redux)
III: The Maine Event
IV: Changes
V: This Old House
VI: Interlude

Marie Maginity has a BA in Theatre and works as a professional actor, director and drama teacher. She has had many “straight” jobs, including bartender, gas station jockey, graphic artist, website designer, facepainter and film projectionist. Once, she bullshitted her way into a newspaper job as a reporter and, over the next eight years, became a copy editor, feature writer and assistant editor. She lives in the suburbs of Philadelphia with one husband, two daughters and two cats

John Karlen wins in Emmy (1986)

I stumbled upon a message board post a few minutes ago that gave me a shock. The writer slipped several times into the past tense when referring to John Karlen, making me think the actormight have passed away. Turns out the writer just doesn't have a keen grasp of grammar.

Anyhoo, lets take a moment to look back at Karlen's 1986 Emmy win for "Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama Series" for his role on Cagney & Lacey. There's an amazing collection of faces in this video, from the two presenters (ne-er-do-well Stacy Keach and Angie Dickinson) to Edward James Olmos, William Daniels and more.

Also, on the off-chance that the Grim Reaper is reading this, STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM JOHN KARLEN.