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Showing posts with label June 8. Show all posts
Showing posts with label June 8. Show all posts

Friday, June 8, 2018

The Dark Shadows Daybook: June 8



By PATRICK McCRAY

Taped on this date in 1968: Episode 521

Roger is astounded that Barnabas knew to look for Liz in the tower room, and Julia reports that his sister will survive her suicide attempt. Her request that Liz be taken to Windcliff is refused. Barnabas and Julia wonder if Angelique is truly gone. After hearing breathy silence on the phone when they try to call Stokes, they go to his home. Stokes has been harboring/tutoring Adam, who answered the phone but said nothing. Hiding Adam, Stokes tells Barnabas and Julia that the state of the missing painting of Angelique may betray her current status. Barnabas rifles Roger’s bedroom with no luck, and as he comes downstairs, a knock at the door reveals a dapper, composed gentleman: Nicholas Blair -- Cassandra’s brother.

Want to see Roger bring up Barnabas’ most uncomfortable memory so incessantly that the ex-vampire looks like he’s ready to give up and confess everything? Want to see Barnabas and Julia responding to what seems like Professor Stokes picking up the phone with an outgoing obscene phone call? Want to see Stokes kvetch to Adam about academic politics as if he’s confiding in someone who knows what he’s talking about rather than a barely articulate side of meat? Want to see Barnabas sneaking around Roger’s bedroom, snooping for a forbidden portrait of Angelique as if he were Chico in need of a Harpo in ANIMAL CRACKERS? Finally, want it to end with a demon who sounds like Don Adams, claiming to be family?

Welcome to 521.

These are skilled writers, and skilled writers dealing with repetitive and deliberately slow storytelling will quickly become bored writers. If you look carefully, DARK SHADOWS has a surprising propensity to verge on farce when it’s not (and even when it is) resounding drama. The actors seem in on it. As Roger goes on and on about the legends of someone trapped in the tower room, and how curious it was the Barnabas just knew that Liz would be up there, the image stays fixed on the 1795 portrait. It’s as if the audience owes Dan Curtis money, and he paid the camera crew to assault them with irony until they pony up the scratch. But I wouldn’t have it any other way. If you want subtle, you’re watching the wrong show. Except….

Jonathan Frid nails it. After Roger innocently remarks about Barnabas’ curiously coincidental knowledge for the seventy-eighth time in the scene, the camera lingers on Frid. This is a man with more nervous and uneasy expressions than any other actor since Thespis, and he invents an entirely new one here. It’s a strange mixture of terror and an intense desire to confess. Holding in the truth, he looks like a vegan struggling not to tell everyone about his dietary ethos. Unlike with the vegan, Barnabas’ restraint wins out. But you can tell he’s closer to “I’ve had it” than at any other time in the series, so far.


Roger is beloved for his 70mm, Sensurround displays of aristocratic obliviousness, and the writers give him a moment so rich that I am amazed anyone kept a straight face. Julia gently suggests that Liz, who narrowly avoided suicide by nightshade while claiming to be the 18th century mother of an undead Barnabas Collins, might benefit from some professional consultation. His indignant response? “Are you suggesting my sister is mentally ill?” Well, Roger, um, exactly when do you begin to suspect that the meds are off? I ask that without judgement. I just want to know.

The wackiness continues as Barnabas and Julia suddenly remember that they know an occult expert and call Professor Stokes. When Adam answers with silence, Jonathan Frid and Grayson Hall make Olympian efforts not to smirk as they remark that all they can hear is heavy breathing. Cutting to Adam, we see that he’s holding the receiver upside down, indicating that the heavy breathing is coming from his ear. I would tell you to draw your own conclusions, but I have no conclusions to suggest. When they visit Stokes, he hides Adam like Jack Tripper hiding a girl from Mr. Roper, and even tries bribing Barnabas with cheese… a temptation the svelt Canadian nimbly avoids… to keep him from poking around in his bonus room. But Barnabas is determined to poke, but thankfully saves it for Roger’s bedroom. To find the painting. The painting of Angelique. That’s all. I swear. As Julia distracts Roger with board games. It kind of works until Nicholas Blair shows up, announcing himself as Cassandra’s brother.

The recent events have been such an avalanche of normalized absurdity that, although Nicholas is unexpected, he’s in no way out of step with the two episodes leading up to his grand entrance. Especially since, moments before, Roger was speaking about Cassandra’s lack of relatives with a conspicuous portentousness that made every word sound as if it were written in italics.

If I sound hard on the episode, I’m anything but. The writers and cast are clearly cutting a rug, and manage to upstage THE CAROL BURNETT SHOW (freshly on the air) while never straying from their own ground rules. DARK SHADOWS, quite intentionally, can be a very funny show. Intentionally and, yes, I swear it, subtly.

Fill in the sad observation about Tim Burton, here. As Don Adams -- who sounds a lot like Nicholas Blair -- might have said, “Missed it by that much.”

This episode hit the airwaves June 25, 1968.

Wednesday, June 8, 2016

The Dark Shadows Daybook: JUNE 8


By PATRICK McCRAY

June 8, 1967
Taped on this date: Episode 257

Buzz arrives at Collinwood for Carolyn, to Liz’s disgust. Liz bars his entrance, but Carolyn ushers him in, anyway. (Buzz even offers Liz a ride on his hog!) Carolyn insists that she and Buzz will be married, but Liz says it won’t stop her own wedding. It can be a double wedding, Carolyn rejoins. Liz begins to buckle, asking if it will end her engagement with Buzz if she, herself, breaks off her own engagement. On the grand staircase, Jason and Buzz match wits, with Jason demonstrating how easily he could break Buzz’s leg. Buzz relents. Alone, Liz tells Jason that the Buzz Stratagem may end the marriage. Jason offers to handle the situation in a fatherly manner. Jason visits with Carolyn upstairs, citing how much she’s like her father. It made Paul run away in just the same manner. Paul’s same hard-headedness wounded Liz. Will this wound her more? And Jason needs time to prove his kindness. He wants to give her the fatherly attention she never got. It sickens Carolyn, so Jason insists that the wedding will happen, anyway, growing stern. Jason returns to the drawing room, claiming the situation is under control. But he wasn’t wholly successful. These things take time. He’ll move his attentions to Buzz. Liz lets him know that they’ll be in equal trouble if Jason isn’t successful. Later at the Blue Whale, Carolyn is particularly bouncy, but Buzz says that Logansport is even more swingin.’ As Carolyn powders her nose, Jason has a word with Buzz. Buzz reveals he’s known Carolyn for years, but her attentions are recent. How odd, Jason says he’s just being used, and that it makes things rough on her mother. This is just a bluff against Liz, and he’ll be dropped when she’s made her point. Jason begins a bribe. A new bike? Buzz says no. He likes the chick too much. Buzz reveals the bribe to Carolyn. Buzz would never take such an offer, and Carolyn revels in her victory. They depart for Logansport, leaving Jason in defeat.

On the arm of Buzz and with her blonde hair and turtleneck, Carolyn looks like Chicky Baby from the Puppet Band. It’s amazing how much Michael Hadge has developed Buzz in just a few episodes. It’s an increasingly interesting performance, and I wonder what the show would have been like had he stayed. I really mean that. He’s an arch-Willie Loomis and a comic book precursor to Jeb. They keep introducing anti-WASPS. Victoria, despite the LITERALLY white name, has the tawdriness of being an unwanted child, probably illegitimate (and thus dodgy in the eyes of blue bloods). Jason “I am Catholic and Irish” McGuire. Deranged prole Matthew Morgan. Willie may wear a tie, but that’s negated by the stigma of sounding like a Yancy Street Gang member by way of Alabama. Angelique, an anti-Christian island girl who makes Barnabas an anti-WASP by marital association. Josette and the DuPres, no doubt more papists. Burke Devlin, ex-con, working stiff, and former “male model” for aging beatnik, Sam Evans. Quentin, a drunken Satanist who marries a Roma. Oh, yeah, the Roma. Petofi, from God knows where, just pretending to be an Englishman. Every character played by Michael Stroka. Compared to them, Jeb, Nicholas, the Trasks, Gerard, and, come to think of it, Adam are all country club candidates. I’m no Michael Moore in my politics, and even I can see that class warfare runs as thick at Collinwood as the stench of cat urine in Mrs. Lovett’s pre-Sweeney larder.
Collins may be an Irish name, but it’s by way of White’s or The Athenaeum, to be certain. Buzz is in noble company, both among the Collinses and the anti-WASPS who beleaguer their solitary castle. Bring Back Kirk? Too late. BRING BACK BUZZ!


June 8, 1970
Taped on this date: Episode 1036

1970PT. Armed with a stake, Hoffman stalks Loomis House to kill Barnabas. As she raises the coffin lid and readies her weapon, Dr. Julia Hoffman from Main Time raises a poker and strikes her down. At Collinwood at dawn, Will awaits Hoffman to see if she were successful with Barnabas. As he starts for his own home, “Alexis” interrupts him, getting the report that Maggie has been kidnapped by Yaeger. At Loomis House, Bruno catches Julia and marvels at “Hoffman’s” hair and clothes. He needs to see Will to borrow money and get out of town. Could Hoffman help him? No. Bruno is still struck by her strange difference. Back in the secret room, Julia wonders what to do with a dead Hoffman. Will enters and sees the secret panel open, catching Julia as she emerges. Will finds the dead Hoffman, and immediately knows that Julia is from Main Time. At Collinwood, Bruno learns from “Alexis” that Cyrus and Yaeger were the same and kidnapped Maggie. But Cyrus is now dead… as is Sabrina. Bruno seems delighted and bolts out. Back at Loomis House, Julia realizes that Hoffman and Angelique were close, and she might have told Angelique the secret of Barnabas. Julia realizes that she can take Hoffman’s place. Armed with Will’s knowledge, she might be able to protect him from the inside. Meanwhile, Bruno ransacks Cyrus’ lab, looking for money. At Collinwood, Julia searches for any note incriminating Barnabas. Angelique enters, wanting to know what happened about Cyrus and Yaeger. But what of the important new news? About Barnabas. Julia bluffs that Barnabas was the first to know of Yaeger and Maggie. He’s in town, now.  Angelique is disgusted that Julia doesn’t know more and sends her to monitor Barnabas. In Cyrus’ lab, Bruno finds a notebook left by the doctor to be delivered to Quentin in the event of his death. Back at Loomis House, Julia suggests to Will that Maggie was part of some larger plan. And Julia plans on continuing, much to Will’s confusion. But why do this for Maggie? It’s not for Maggie. It’s for Barnabas, she says. In the lab, Bruno calls “Alexis,” having read the notebook. He knows enough to earn quite a living from Quentin… he now knows who murdered Angelique.

You know what? If you don’t like Grayson Hall, I don’t like you. Man, this is Prime Julia Hoffman Asskicking 101. This takes “Mirror, Mirror,” removes the ace-in-the-hole of Vulcan liberal guilt, and replaces it with the stark terror of being found out by an Angelique incapable of love, only conquest. What does Julia do? Puts on a steel-toe boot with evil’s name on it and goes to work. Is it the single ballsiest move in DARK SHADOWS history? Gender jokes aside, look who makes it. You know who has the Eye of the Tiger? Julia. Effin. Hoffman.

Oh, and Michael Stroka returns after 31 days off. Ghost of Michael, I’m telling you, it was a long month. We missed you, buddy. 
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