Witchboard: It's Been Emotional

By WALLACE McBRIDE

Witchboard has been a thorn in my side for several years. With titles like "Gothic Tales of Ambient Love" and "Yes, I Drink Blood" (not to mention an album cover that features a still from Night of Dark Shadows) the concepts on display feel almost intrusive in their ability to predict my interests. It's enough to make me wonder if Glenn McQuaid, the one-man band that is Witchboard, has been reading my mail.

But, cool song titles aside, I could never connect with his music. I've found myself returning occasionally to Witchboard's Bandcamp page, curious to see if all the parts will finally align in my mind ... but always leaving disappointed. Why doesn't this stuff work? All the parts are there. No assembly is required. The fault, I've been sure, is my own.

So, after spending a month reading McQuaid's excellent album recommendations on his Instagram account throughout the month of October (I'm now addicted to the Cadabara Records catalog, thanks Glenn) it seemed like a good time to give his alien transmissions  another go. Since the last time I checked in, a feature-length, vinyl only Witchboard album had been released. Rather than continuing to dip my toes in the water with more random sampling of whatever was streaming online, I pulled the trigger and bought the latest LP, "It's Been Emotional."

The vinyl format deprived of the ability to skip around the tracks and forced me to sit still and actually listen to the goddamned music. For the first time, it all clicked. I got it. And I love it.

But the fault might not have entirely been my own. "It's Been Emotional," which falls somewhere on the spectrum between Darkwave and 80s goth revivalism, features more complex work than earlier offerings. The 80s sound (however you might define it) is in vogue right now, with acts as far reaching as Ghost, Gunship and The Cybertronic Spree pursuing that sweet blend of synthesizers, treble-y snare drums and guitar tones so popular (checks calendar) thirty years ago. (Holy shit, I'm old.) Few of the bands I mentioned are willing to stick the landing and let DayGlo color palettes on their album covers carry most of the nostalgic burden. But McQuaid does such a good job of recreating those classic electronic sounds on "It's Been Emotional" that I failed to recognize one of the tracks is from Brad Fiedel's score for Fright Night. How's that for a plot twist?

And that's not even the only vampire invoked on "It's Been Emotional." One track leads with a sample of dialogue from House of Dark Shadows, the rhythm evolving from the sound of David's ball bouncing as he chants "If I catch this one, Carolyn isn't dead." It's not an especially happy sounding song, as you might imagine ... but the overall effect left a smile on my face.

"It's Been Emotional" is limited to 300 pieces and is available from Holy Mounting Printing.

House Party of Dark Shadows

I'm feeling productive this week, but not especially chatty. In the past I've usually taken advantage of these playlists to blather on about the artists, how I selected and sequenced these songs, etc. Most of these tunes are obvious selections. A few are sure to raise a couple of eyebrows. Instead of pulling back the curtain and exposing my motives and naughty bits to the world, I'm going to embrace the twin spirits of brevity and modesty and allow the songs to speak for themselves. Drops mic.

A Latin Tribute to Barnabas Collins, 1972

For a guy who didn't even own a radio, Barnabas Collins has had quite a successful career in music. He's appeared in hip hop, punk, pop and reggae songs. Thanks to a tip from a reader in Spain, we now know that Barnabas was also the star of a Latin pop song in 1972. Gonzalo J. explains:

"Hi, I'm a longtime follower of the Collinsport Historical Society. I'm Venezuelan but right now I live in Valencia, Spain.

The other day a Twitter follower sent me this link, redirecting me to a YouTube song by a famous venezuelan orchestra called Los Melódicos: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2CgjKMpo8FM

It's a song called 'Hasta cuándo Barnabás' (Until When Barnabas), you can hear it at 20:44. It says "Barnabás es un vampiro / que está metido en el guiro" and it even starts with compasses from the song 'London Bridge is Falling Down', heard in Dark Shadows.

'Dark Shadows' was a very popular show in Venezuela, where it was called 'Sombras tenebrosas'.

Los Melódicos was a band created by Renato Capriles. It played merengue, cumbia and many other latin rhythms.

This song is a complete rarity and a testament to Barnabas Collins' popularity in Venezuela."

You can listen to the entire album in the link provided above, or skip directly to a 60-second clip from "Hasta cuándo Barnabás" in the video below.

“Hasta cuándo Barnabás" by Los Melódicos, 1972. Thanks to @gonzalomjimenez for the tip! #darkshadows #barnabascollins

A post shared by Wallace McBride (@collinsporthistory) on Jul 27, 2018 at 9:01am PDT

Let Jimmy Psycho score your next Halloween party

Robert Cobert's original music for DARK SHADOWS has proven to be a remarkably flexible. It's been repurposed for everything from reggae to hip hop, and even managed to crack the top 40 on at least one occasion. Below is another interpretation of the show's main theme, this time by The Jimmy Psycho Experiment. It's from the album "Mad Monster Cocktail Party," which sees the Psycho Charger frontman interpreting some of horror's greatest melodies as lounge standards. (Just to prove that he's got impeccable taste, "Grim Grinning Ghosts" and the theme to PHANTASM also made the cut for the album.)

"Mad Monster Cocktail Party" is available from Amazon on compact disc and MP3 download HERE.

Get Eldritch or Die Trying

The curious Dark Shadows/hip hop connection

By WALLACE McBRIDE

DARK SHADOWS has a recent-but-proud relationship with punk rock. The series was originally broadcast when the movement began to ferment in New York City during the late 1960s, but it wasn't until after the show hit The Sci-Fi Channel during the 1990s that DARK SHADOWS began to have any influence on the anti-genre. How we managed to never get a Ramones song about the Collins family is one of life's great mysteries, but The Damned, Misfits and Argyle Goolsby were more than ready to step up and fill that void.

Because the fan base of DARK SHADOWS is painfully white, the show's influence on hip hop during the 1990s went mostly overlooked. It shouldn't be surprising that the fans who picketed the cancellation of the series on the New Jersey Network during the 1980s weren't listening to the likes of Gang Starr or Chino XL a decade later, but they missed some of the most delightfully weird crossovers ever heard in popular music. If you thought those reggae tributes to DARK SHADOWS were offbeat, you ain't heard nothing yet.



Chino XL, "Waiting to Exhale"
From 1996 album "Here to Save You All"
This is one of the more subtle uses of composer Robert Cobert's music from DARK SHADOWS ... which is odd, because it's also one of the most pervasive. The song samples the music used for the "Meditations" track on "The Original Music from Dark Shadows" album from 1969. Jonathan Frid's dialogue from the original version is gone (more on that later) and the music re-pitched, creating the kind of background track that's equal parts horror movie and crime thriller. Frid's matra on "the throbbing sound/of a one way path to eternity" is replaced by "I'm slick like Deon Sanders/jheri curl when I represent." So, there's that.





Metal Fingers, "Hyssop"

From the 2003 album "Special Herbs, Vol. 4"
If you're familiar with Metal Fingers/MF Doom, the use of the DARK SHADOWS theme won't come as much surprise. This is a guy who routinely samples things like the 1967 FANTASTIC FOUR cartoon, SCOOBY DOO and Godzilla movies. Dude's a straight-up nerd who makes mc chris look like Bender from THE BREAKFAST CLUB. While a few of the artists on this list are fairly obscure, Doom has had a huge impact on music .... and you really should check him out. His 2004 album "Madvillain" is as good a place to start as any. Get thee to Amazon!




Gang Starr (feat. Big Shug and Freddie Foxxx), "The Militia"
From  the 1998 album "Moment of Truth"
Hey, look! It's the DARK SHADOWS theme again! As with the Chino XL track, Cobert's music is used to make things a bit tense, if not downright unsettling. If you've got any doubt that his score to DARK SHADOWS isn't balls-out terrific, just listen to how it retains its power even when stomped on by hip hop beats, chopped up and matted with dissonant lyrics. I don't have much of an opinion of Gang Starr (the only track of theirs I'm familiar with is "1/2 & 1/2" from the BLADE soundtrack, which isn't my favorite song in the world) but they get extra credit for this tune. (But I might subtract that credit because of the cheesy "Jack the Rapper" lyric here.)

Third Sight, "I Will Never Leave You"
From the 1998 album "The Golden Shower Hour"
David Selby makes his first (and maybe only?) contribution to hip hop with this track, which begins with his spoken word "Shadows of the Night." I've got to admire the balls of an artist "sampling" almost an entire track before sliding directly into another piece written by the same composer. (Cobert's "Meditations" is used again.) Bela Lugosi gets a shout out here, but at this point the use of the same pieces of music in exactly the same way is getting a little tired. But hey, it ends with a short clip of more DARK SHADOWS music, this time some of the faux-rock used during scenes at The Blue Whale. The whole thing is a little ponderous, but I'm still chalking this up as a win.





King Geedorah,
"Take Me to Your Leader"
From the 2003 album "Take Me to Your Leader"
If you love MF Doom, you already know the name King Geedorah ... because they're the same guy. Doom's identity crisis is pretty well established, but if you're interested in catching up you can find a short outline of his many aliases HERE. In "Take Me to Your Leader" he throws everything and the kitchen sink at the beats, including dialogue from FIST OF THE NORTH STAR, "I Can't Go for That (No Can Do)" by Hall and Oates and Looney Tunes. Does it all add up to anything? I can't tell.





Hive, "A Chain of Prophecies"

and "One Way Path"
From the 1998 album "Devious Methods"
With these last two tracks we're leaving hip hop behind for the world of trip hop/drum & bass. Hive is a Los Angeles DJ who made the kind of music that would have sounded right at home played behind images of Wesley Snipes killing vampires. These two tracks are essentially the same, so I'm leading with "One Way Path." Once again, Cobert's "Meditations" is sampled, but this time with pitch-shifted vocals by Jonathan Frid. The title of this tune is taken from the original lyrics to "Meditation," which fit these dreamy beats like a glove.

House of Dark Shadows: Music from the Motion Picture

If you see something on this website and wonder if it's real, the answer is almost always "No."

By WALLACE McBRIDE

When Dan Curtis made his first feature film, HOUSE OF DARK SHADOWS, he brought with him much of the cast and crew of the television series. Series writers Sam Hall and Gordon Russell banged out a script that retold the introduction of vampire Barnabas Collins. The cast was made up entirely of actors (and, in the case of George DiCenzo, a producer) from the television series. Robert Cobert was even brought over to create a cinematic interpretation of his small-screen music

Perhaps because of the rushed production schedule (and also because MGM was calling the shots) the  marketing blitz of its television counterpart was missing from the feature film adaption. Absent were the trading cards, posters, toys and other products sold under the DARK SHADOWS brand. The movie's merchandise was more or less limited to the Marilyn Ross novelization. We didn't even get a soundtrack release until many, many years later.

The television series, of course, had its own pop soundtrack. It was populated mostly by Cobert's music, with some newly crafted spoken-word parts written for actors Jonathan Frid and David Selby. It sold well, but was aimed more at mopey proto-goths than the kind of kids you saw dancing every week on AMERICAN BANDSTAND. Which made me wonder: What would a contemporary pop soundtrack for HOUSE OF DARK SHADOWS had sounded like?

It would probably have sounded awful, to be honest, most likely stuffed to the gills with acts like The Cowsills, Bread or Tony Orlando and Dawn. Barf.

But hindsight is 20/20. Given unlimited resources, what kind of album could I have built that would be an honest reflection of both the movie, the year and the market? Which brings me to the point of this nonsense: "House of Dark Shadows: Music from the Motion Picture," a Spotify playlist. You can find the playlist  online HERE. Below is commentary on the playlist.

Did Lou Reed watch DARK SHADOWS? It's a question you might ask yourself while listening to the lead track, "Ocean," a 1969 outtake from The Velvet Underground that would later find its way to Reed's first solo effort. "Ocean" sounds at times as if Reed is narrating the opening credits to DARK SHADOWS: "Here comes the ocean/And the waves down by the sea," with the lyrics diving deeper into the kinds of imagery that once haunted by Edgar Allen Poe. It's also a reminder that we never see the iconic shores of Collinwood in either of Dan Curtis' feature films, which is weird, right? (Note: Bob Dylan apparently saw more than a few episodes of DARK SHADOWS.)

From here, I wanted the songs to explore 1970 as much as possible, no matter how painful the results. I wanted the sounds and lyrics to lightly touch on the movie's themes and imagery, while also saying something about the musical landscape of the year. "Love Buzz" by Shocking Blue would have made a superior substitute for the rock and roll muzak playing at the start of the film, as Maggie is searching for David. Simon & Garfunkel's "So Long, Frank Lloyd Wright" is a reminder that this is 1970, and popular music was still kind of precious. "Can I See You In the Morning" finds The Jackson 5 at their most cinematic and esoteric. It's not a song many people are ever going to dance to, but it's still pretty cool.

After that is the even slower, dirge-ier "Planet Caravan" by Black Sabbath. As my late grandmother used to say, "Dark Shadows is metal as fuck," so it seemed weird to overlooked Sabbath's 1970 masterpiece, "Paranoid." But there's no one moment in HOUSE OF DARK SHADOWS that calls for Sabbath's driving, bottom-end rhythms ... but "Planet Caravan" is a perfect song for DARK SHADOWS, regardless of context.

I think George Harrison's (i.e., "The Best Beatle") 1970 song, "Beware the Darkness," speaks for itself, doesn't it? The Beatles were too much of a thing to graft themselves well to DARK SHADOWS, but the solo tunes are a different story. Paul McCartney is just too damn chipper for DARK SHADOWS, while I just want to punch John Lennon in the throat. And Ringo is ... Ringo. Which ain't a bad thing to be, but it's just not DARK SHADOWS.

Hey, it's The Velvet Underground again! Sorta! Nico's "Janitor of Lunacy" is as cold as ice, and makes me wonder what an entire score for the film by Nico and her collaborators might have sounded like. HOUSE OF DARK SHADOWS already has the atmosphere of an extended funeral. (It's telling that Curtis has to use an actual funeral in the film to break up the extended moments of darkness.) This isn't my favorite track of Nico's, but I've always been impressed that she was willing to carry the chilly banner of the first Velvets album for as long as she did. RIP, you magnificent warrior woman.

Don't forget, this is 1970. So here's "Down is Up, Up is Down" by the Delfonics to bring the movie's themes home in the most contemporary way possible. "If I told you the sky was brown/would you look up or down?" kinda sums up the Barnabas/Maggie "relationship" as well as anything Bob Dylan would write. Meanwhile, Krautrock band Can conjures up music for a Spaghetti western with "Deadlock," while also foreshadowing Italy's Goblin by a few years.

For reasons I can't quite explain, Neil Diamond and DARK SHADOWS go together like peas and carrots, at least for me. HOUSE OF DARK SHADOWS doesn't call for one of his bouncy, Everly Brothers-inspired songs, so I opted for "Coldwater Morning." It's the kind of ballad that would have been at home in the closing credits of an Irwin Allen movie. The next track, Hawkwind's "Hurry On Sundown," might hit the nail on the head a little too fiercely, but is also a good chaser for Diamond's sentimentality.

Which brings us to the theme for our closing credits: "Thunderbuck Ram" by Mott the Hoople. I 1970, the band was on the eve of a makeover, courtesy of David Bowie, and were still ... well, I don't know what the hell they were in 1970. This song isn't quite heavy metal, but I'm at a loss as to how else to describe it. Making it all the weirder is that lead guitarist Mick Ralphs is handling vocals here instead of Ian Hunter. "Life must still go on whatever's right or wrong/Realize what's gone and was never healing" describes a great many of the characters in this movie, most notably our anti-hero. It's sad, epic and loud. Just like HOUSE OF DARK SHADOWS.

DARK SHADOWS meets The Damned

Back in 2001, THE DAMNED released the album "Grave Disorder." From the very beginning the British band had been pulling in a lot of different directions, merging politics, horror, humor, social commentary and romanticism into a bizarre stew that still has people arguing about whether or not they're really "punk." (Judge's ruling: Yes, they are.)

"Grave Disorder" did nothing to mend that image and featured songs about horror movies, absinthe, John Lennon's dubious place in rock history, and the surreal bullshit surrounding Michael Jackson in his later years.

The album also features the gothic ballad "'Til the End of Time," a song that may or may not be about Barnabas Collins. Here's a sample:

I've woken from darkness with passion
You're surely to blame for it
This torture so wicked
You hurt me just for the hell of it

The lyrics certainly suggest the song is about a vampire, but there are two things that makes me think it might have been directly inspired by DARK SHADOWS. First, the TV series had been airing on The Sci-Fi Channel in the U.K. for several years when the album was released. (It would be a stretch to even call that evidence "circumstantial," though.) But, leading into the song is a proverbial smoking gun: "'Til the End of Time,"  kicks off with a sample of Lara Parker's dialogue from the original series.

Making that connection is a trifle difficult, though, thanks to how the album was edited. The tracks were chopped to allow the songs to begin at the start of each track listing, shuffling the seques (such as Parker's monologue from episode 561) to the end of the previous songs. So, if you want to hear the DARK SHADOWS sample, you actually have to listen to the the song "Neverland." Life can be complicated like that.

If you want to hear the sample for yourself, follow this link and skip to the 3:20 mark.

(Note: Yes, I know that magazine clipping below gets Dave Vanian's name wrong.)

Angelique, Samantha and Circe team-up in "Witchcraft"

My previous post on Walpurgisnacht got a little link heavy, so I didn't include this video for Book of Love's 1989 song, "Witchcraft." I was also a little concerned that people had grown tired of hearing about me ramble on about this song, which is a Who's Who of pop culture witchery. A quick search shows that I've never actually mentioned the song here at the website, which is surprising. But it' also offers the opportunity to talk about a fun little song from the '80s that I like.

The lyrics to "Witchcraft" include nods to everything from the television show BEWITCHED, Richard Wagner "Götterdämmerung" opera, Greek mythology and, as you've probably guessed, DARK SHADOWS. It won't change your life, but it might bring a smile to your face.

If you've never heard the song, I won't spoil the reference for you. (It's not subtle, though: three characters from DARK SHADOWS get mentioned by name.) I'd be curious to know about the band's relationship to the series, though. Book of Love hailed from New York, which has been the place to be for DARK SHADOWS fans since the show was originally on the air. It's possible they were fans of the show as children, but they might also have discovered it though syndication revivals during the 1980s ... which were struggling to hang on by the time "Witchcraft" was recorded.

You can listen to "Witchcraft" below. The 1989 single release was backed by a remix called "Enchantra," which grafts much of the song's lyrics into a fragmented structure that I don't love. If you like the original tune, consider buying it on Amazon HERE. These sales links go toward keeping the lights on at the CHS.

Barnabas Collins: Reggae Icon

There's little else in fandom that can compete with the random weirdness of Barnabas Collins' status as a reggae pop icon. I'm not entirely sure what kickstarted the craze, but suspect it was the release of DARK SHADOWS into syndication during the mid-1970s. That would have been about the time that musician The Lone Ranger released the first of many versions of his song "Barnabas Collins." The track became a staple of reggae for years to come, later recorded by such acts as Yellowman and Dillinger.

But the mysterious Charles Hanna and the Graduates might have beat Lone Ranger to the punch by a few years with his rendition of the Robert Cobert theme from DARK SHADOWS. That distinction is a little dubious, however, because there's little information online about either Hanna or his Graduates. The song appears to be a minor release, with the most authoritative source, www.reggaecollector.com, listing only an approximate release date of "1971." Another source claims 1973 as the date of release, which seems more realistic.

Charles Hanna? Possibly.

Musician and producer Leonard Chin was a vocalist in the band, but you won't find any evidence of that here because DARK SHADOWS is an instrumental. As for the rest of the band? Back in 2008, the blog Distinctly Jamaican Sounds addressed this mystery, having located Mr. Hanna to Kansas, of all places. Someone claiming to be Hanna commented on a blog post at the website, appearing to confirm that he was, in fact, living in Kansas. He even posted a telephone number where he could be reached. Sadly, the website does not appear to have followed up on this lead.

"Dark Shadows" was released as a 7" single, which extended to both sides of the disc.  You can listen to the complete track below.

Punk Shadows: A playlist EP!

By WALLACE McBRIDE

There's no shortage of songs inspired by DARK SHADOWS. Even omitting the tracks recorded by the cast members, there's a pretty weird compilation album to be made from the many, many songs about the original series. Those tracks range from proto-disco ("Barnabas" by Vampire State Building) to reggae ("Barnabas Collins" by the Lone Ranger) but somehow the first wave of punk in the 1970s seemed to miss out on the phenomenon. Ideally, these were the kids that grew up on DARK SHADOWS, but the show was apparently a distant memory once those kids grew up and discovered heroin, sex and guitars.

But DARK SHADOWS was nowhere to be found during the second big wave of punk during the 1980s, either. It wasn't until the show began to air on the Sci-Fi Channel in the early 1990s that DARK SHADOWS began to creep into the punk landscape. By this point "horror punk" was slowly becoming a thing, and was the obvious conduit for anyone wanting to loudly proclaim their love for vampires, werewolves, witches and fog machines. If you want an idea of the role the Sci-Fi Channel played in generating new fans on both sides of the Atlantic, look no further than these songs.

Note: Many of these tracks are by independent artists and aren't available on Amazon or iTunes. I've provided links with each summary to help you upon your quest.


Misfits: Dark Shadows

From the album "The Devil's Rain," 2011.
This is the most blatant cash grab on the playlist, one of many attempts by Misfits holdout Jerry Only to get a song on the soundtrack to a Tim Burton movie. His previous attempts with songs such as "Mars Attacks" and "Forbidden Zone" (inspired by PLANET OF THE APES) were fruitless, as was this tune. I want to hate it, but it's one of the few tracks from "The Devil's Rain" that's actually OK.

Via

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The Oval Portrait featuring Gerard Way: Barnabus Collins 
Has More Skeletons In His Closet Than Vincent Price
From the album "Life in Death," 2003.
Yep, BarnaBUS Collins. The actual song doesn't have anything to do with Vincent Price or Barnabas Collins, but it has the kind of reckless abandon that can transform depression into ... well, not joy, exactly. But it has spirit, if not spell check. Confusing, yes, but they earn an E for Effort.

Via

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Shadow Windhawk: House of Dark Shadows
From the album "Cremation Garden," 2016.
This is a new one, and the only track on the playlist that I haven't had the opportunity to hear. The band currently has a handful of tunes from this album streaming on their website, but HODS isn't one of them.  UPDATE: "House of Dark Shadows" is now streaming at the band's website.

As an added bonus, the song "The Curse of Thorn" features dialogue samples of DS alumnus Mitchell Ryan from the film HALLOWEEN: THE CURSE OF MICHAEL MYERS. You can listen to it HERE.

Via

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The Damned: 'Til the End of Time
From the album "Grave Disorder," 2001.
What does this song have to do with DARK SHADOWS? Possibly nothing. The lyrics might be nothing more than generic romance, the sort of gothed-up treacle so popular during the 1990s. Sure, "I've woken from darkness with passion/You're surely to blame for it" sounds exactly like its riffing on the Barnabas/Angelique dynamic, but that's a storyline that's been ripped off so many times that it might nothing more than a distant literary relative. But The Damned tip their hand in the final moments of the song, which closes on the lyrics "Alone now forever no sweeter pain/Than those memories."

These words are immediately followed by a dialogue sample of Lara Parker from an episode of DARK SHADOWS.

Via

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Argyle Goolsby: The East Wing
From the album "Saturnalia of the Accursed," 2016.
Argyle Goolsby, formerly of the band Blitzkid, wins the DARK SHADOWS arms race with this track, which dives the deepest into Collinsport lore. He steers clear of the obvious (no overt references to vampires here) to touch on the mystical misadventures in the closed-off section of Collinwood. Considering the East Wing was shuttered in 1840 (a storyline pretty far removed from the show's prime) this is easily the most obscure and loving tribute to DARK SHADOWS on this playlist.

Note: "The East Wing" first appeared on Goolsby's 2013 album "Under the Witness Stars" and has since been included (along with the kinda/maybe-DS inspired song "Shadows of Night") on "Saturnalia of the Accursed."

Via

Robert Cobert's "Ode to Angelique"

The DARK SHADOWS phenomenon was beginning to wind down in 1970. Fans have been speculating for decades about the causes of the show's decline, but I think it's simply a matter of fatigue. Nothing lasts forever, and DARK SHADOWS managed to outlast contemporary series like STAR TREK, BATMAN and WILD WILD WEST — none of which made it out of the 1960s.

Billboard: July 4, 1070.

That fatigue was evident with the release of Robert Cobert's final(?) single from DARK SHADOWS, "Ode to Angelique." Released in in August, 1970, I can't find any evidence that the song even charted. Which is a shame, because it's a pretty good melody, and as distinctive as any of the previous selections of DARK SHADOWS music released.

As with the previous singles, "Ode to Angelique" also functioned as a plot element of the television series: The melody was written by composer Bruno Hess, an obsessed (and psychotic) former lover of Angelique Collins during the "Parallel Time" storyline. The 45 was backed with a track by Cobert titled "Missy" which appears to have nothing to do with DARK SHADOWS. The track was later included in the DARK SHADOWS 30th ANNIVERSARY COLLECTION album released in 1996.

Below is a collection of memorabilia related to the song, including a playlist from a New Jersey radio station that hilariously sandwiched the melody between tracks by Sugarloaf and Jackie DeShannon.

Note: The DARK SHADOWS fansite Darkness Falls recently returned from the dead and has the piano sheet music for "Ode to Angelique" available for download. Nevermind. It appears to be down again.

Ghoul House Rock: MONSTER RALLY, 1959

There’s a playful hint of menace in MONSTER RALLY, a novelty album released by RCA Victor in 1959. The listener is warned from the start (the title track promises “you’ll be lucky to get out alive”) that the sideshow has become the main event, and that traditional standards of decency are going to be a little ... twisted. Example: murder is perfectly acceptable, but just don't park like an asshole (as the song "Flying Saucer" advises us).

It’s a wonderfully visual album; one that conjures images of a nightmarish stage production that’s equal parts grand guignol and THE MUPPET SHOW. Leading the cast of cretins are Hans Conried and Alice Pearce, two actors who specialized in the ludicrous. One of the busiest (and best) voice actors ever, Conried was born to chew the scenery. When left to his own devices he could have squeezed a few laughs out of “Paradise Lost” without changing a line of the text.

Sadly, Pearce died in 1966 at the age of 48. Despite her relatively short list of credits, she might actually me more recognizable than Conried: Pearce played nosey neighbor “Gladys Kravitz” for several years on BEWITCHED.

Conried and Pearce make a strangely compelling couple on MONSTER RALLY. While Conried is the ringmaster of this fiasco, Pearce brings a rare sense of femininity to the proceedings. There were a lot of “monster kid” novelty albums recorded during the late ‘50s and ‘60s, and almost all of them were dick soup. While Conried’s presence had a way of making anything better, Pearce is the secret weapon on MONSTER RALLY and keeps it from becoming just another novelty record.

The song writing is pretty strong here, as well, but it’s difficult to say exactly who did what on the album. Nine of the songs were written by Joel Herron and Fred Hertz. At the time, Herron was the musical director of The Jimmy Dean Show; while Hertz was a radio and television writer/director. The remaining three songs on MONSTER RALLY are re-workings of popular novelty songs: Phil Harris’ “The Thing,” Sheb Wooley’s “The Purple People Eater” and “Close the Door,” originally recorded by The Stargazers. While these covers won’t make you forget the originals, they’re used here to good effect, fitting snugly into the “variety show from hell” aesthetic of MONSTER RALLY.

Beyond that, it’s hard to say who else contributed to the project. The liner notes are deliberately coy, citing three recording dates in 1958 that took place at “Castle Dracula, New York.” The album’s musical director is credited as “Frank N. Stein.” Here’s his bio:

“Frank N. Stein is, as you might guess, a pseudonym. We cannot reveal the name of the musical director, as he is wanted on two other planets for a series of escapades too horrible to mention here.”

The story behind the album’s vocal group, “The Creatures,” is equally fictional. The background performers were almost certainly actors and singers working in New York City at the time, but they’re not identified by name in the credits.

The cover was illustrated by Jack Davis, possibly the most quietly successful artists of the 20th century. Again, he’s not credited explicitly on the album cover, but his style is unmistakable. It’s worth mentioning that MONSTER RALLY was recorded just three years after the demise of EC’s lines of horror, crime and science-fiction comics, to which Davis was a regular contributor. This cancellation was prompted by new regulations foisted on comics industry in the wake of the U.S. Senate Subcommittee on Juvenile Delinquency hearing in 1954 — which saw Davis and his colleagues at EC accused of contributing to juvenile delinquency. So it’s nice to see him making monsters mainstream again so soon after.

As with many of its brethren, MONSTER RALLY is best enjoyed in its natural analog format. Unsurprisingly, the album has been out of print for a long, long time, and is not only difficult to find, but also rather expensive. Hallmark has since made it available as an MP3 download on Amazon for you impulsive types. If you want to cherry pick selections from the album, I recommend the title track, “Flying Saucer,” “Mostly Ghostly” and “(I’m in Love with) The Creature from the Black Lagoon.” They're pretty swell.

Lacy Rostyak Vs Quentin Collins

Many years ago, I bought my first guitar. It was — by every standard of measurement — a terrible instrument. The previous owner had abused it before conning a pawnshop in Rockingham, N.C., to exchange it for cash. It's possible the store owner knew even less about music that I did, because the guitar (an Epiphone similar to the model favored by Kurt Cobain) had a warped neck and would not stay in tune for more than a few minutes at a time. I spent $100 for that six-string nightmare and can probably blame my lingering anger-management issues on that monstrosity.

I reached two modest musical milestones before wising up and getting another, less-horrible guitar: I taught myself to play "The Nile Song" by Pink Floyd and "London Dungeon" by the Misfits. Both are modest accomplishments on par with leaning to play "Chop Sticks" on a piano. Still, I was proud of myself.

So you can imagine my mixed feelings on seeing Lacy Rostyak's collection of YouTube videos, which involve levels of musical talent that might as well come from another planet when compared to mine. While I'm not fit to be her sound tech, I can tell you this much: it took a lot of effort for her to make this seem so effortless.

Among the STAR WARS, MARIO BROS and Wham! covers at her YouTube channel is a video of her performance of Robert Cobert's "Shadows of the Night" from DARK SHADOWS. If you're a reader of this website, there's a pretty good chance you'll like it. (You can watch the video below)

Meanwhile, Rostyak has launched a GoFundMe campaign with a goal stated boldly in the website url: www.gofundme.com/lacyneedsaviolin. Please consider chipping in.

(Thanks to Scott Ross for the tip.)

Ghost conjures the spirit of Lucio Fulci for new video

I don't write much about music here, which stands in stark contrast to how I generally behave outside of the matrix. Remember that post about Grayson Hall's appearance in a radio spot for Blue Oyster Cult? Imagine that stretched out over 20 years as a piece of performance art and you'll get an idea of what it's like to be in my proximity.

Which brings me to the following: a new music video by Ghost. It's a tune titled "Cirice" from their latest album MELIORA. I'm a little bit on the fence about this band, which mixes treble-friendly '80s metal, '70s-era Goblin/John Carpenter and a heaping, helping serving of bullshit Satanism. It's got all the elements I need to fall in love, but there's something a little ... unfinished about their concept. While I dig the band, don't expect to see me sporting their logo as a tattoo.

"Cirice" is a pretty good representation of the band's sound. Even if it's not your cup o'tea, though, you'll probably still get a kick out of the video. It looks like the kind of think that might have resulted from a Lucio Fulci/Ozzy Osbourne collaboration. You can watch it below.

Josette's Theme, arranged by Mark Howard

Pianist Mark Howard has arranged a beautiful, interesting version of Josette's Theme. "This charming melody in antique style resembles a gavotte, evoking delightful images of the French roocco period," Howard explains on his Youtube channel. "And well it might, since it played from the music box given to Josette duPrés of Martinique by Barnabas Collins in the 18th century. The original piece was written by British composer Robert Farnon, and a later version composed by Robert Cobert. This is my own arrangement and a small tribute to Dark Shadows, unquestionably one of the most innovative and intriguing programs in the history of American television."

Thanks to Bill Branch for the link!

Barnabas Collins tops the reggae charts

Barnabas Collins was an unlikely folk hero in Jamaica during the '70s and '80s. Reggae artist Lone Ranger recorded three versions of his song "Barnabas Collins," which was later covered in wildly different ways by guys like Yellowman and Dillinger. You could put together a decent mix tape of nothing but reggae songs about Dark Shadows, if you were so inclined.

Lone Ranger hit the tops of the reggae charts in 1979 with "Barnabas Collins," which was the first of the Dark Shadows reggae songs (and my favorite.) Below is a 1979 newspaper clipping from a Jamaican newspaper about the song's position on the charts. You can listen to an extended mix of Barnabas Collins in the video above, and I've included Amazon links to handful of other Dark Shadows-inspired music in the carousel at the bottom of this post.

Reggae Top 1 Hits: 'Barnabas Collins' hits the top
The Gleaner, May 31, 1979

For the first time in what seems like years there are two new entries on the Reggae Top Ten. As a result the chart for the week ending May 26 is the most interesting in weeks. There is also a new No. 1 shot in
the form of Barnabas Collins Coming in at No. 6 is last weeks shot to watch Junior Mervins 'Cool out Son,' it goes without saying that this one could hit the top soon as it comes in at almost half way up the chart.

The other new entry is '111 Never Hurt You by the veteran Delroy Wilson this is one of the betknew a woman like you could be so . . . nice." A touching scene from "Ruby" which goes this week-end to the Creative Arts Centre. Daniel (John Jones) meets Ruby (Joy Lindsay) for the first time in Fr. Richard HoLung's exciting musical which has been playing to packed audiences at the Little theatre. Curtain time at CAC tomorrow and Saturday 8.00 p.m. and on Sunday 4.30 p.m.

Monster Music

The peak of Dark Shadows' popularity produced an amazing amount of merchandise, including two hit singles from stars Jonathan Frid and David Selby. It was almost obligatory for actors of popular television shows in the 1960s to release some kind of record, often in character. Even Frank Gorshin released an album in character as The Riddler.

Dark Shadows by the Von Hoffman Orchestra

Here's a cheap little video I tossed together for the song Dark Shadows by the Von Hoffman Orchestra. It's one of two songs about Dark Shadows featured on the album Monster University Pajama Party, which I heartily recommend. If you decide to give the album a spin you should know this isn't the usual Misfits-style horror punk album. Monster University Pajama Party is a throwback to early '60s novelty performers like Zacherle and Bobby "Boris" Pickett. It's actually quite sweet and innocent in its own way. Check it out!

The Motown branch of the Collins family

There have been a ton of song written about Barnabas Collins over the years, ranging in style from reggae to punk to metal. Here's a Diana Ross-style R&B song titled "Barnabus Collins the Love Bandit" by singer Keanya Collins. (I've corrected the spelling in the name of the song in the post to make searches easier.)

I like to think singer Keanya Collins is from the Motown branch of the Collins family, but there doesn't appear to be a lot of information out there about  her.