Pride Month: Our thoughts and feelings are valid

By BROOKE PERRIN

Growing up in a town of less than 2,000 people in rural Montana, I never encountered anyone I knew to be gay. It was never discussed and thus did not exist. Even before I realized I was gay, I was an outcast in school. I had nothing in common with most kids my age. My classmates loved football and snowboarding, while I sat in the corner reading Macbeth. I wanted the lead in the school play, not to be head cheerleader. I spent most of my adolescence shroud in black hoping my creepy exterior would repel my fellow classmates. I wasn’t out of the closet by any stretch, even to myself, but was still routinely called “faggot” and singled out for not conforming to the crowd. As Alice Collins mentioned in her column, the arts tend to be common ground for LGBT kids. We often find they are safe havens for us as we struggle to survive high school and beyond. We are allowed to explore our true selves through embodying others on stage or channeling our emotions through art and music. In addition to falling in love with theatre, in high school I also became enamored with the horror genre. Since then I’ve realized a passion for horror is common amongst much of the queer community. As a young girl I cried with Frankenstein’s creature as he was shunned by society while he so hopelessly tried to belong. I was in awe of Carrie White as she burned the school gym to the ground and wrought vengeance on her cruel classmates. Watching these films was deeply cathartic for me. I discovered Dark Shadows in my early twenties, just as I was coming to terms with my sexuality. I felt a connection to Barnabas Collins, the reluctant vampire who wanted so desperately to be human. These feelings of being ostracized run throughout much of the horror genre and strike a chord with me and the LBGT community at large.

As I delved deeper into the Dark Shadows fandom, I learned many of the actors who appeared on the show were queer. Unfortunately they lived in a more conservative and closeted time, when identifying as gay was still considered radical. It was also dangerous and could mean the end of an actor’s professional career. We will never know for sure how Jonathan Frid, Louis Edmonds, or Joel Crothers would have chosen to identify in today’s more accepting society, but what we do know is they too were misunderstood outcasts in a straight world. Although I’ve moved on from the conservative rural life and found love and acceptance identifying as a lesbian, I have also learned the heteronormative community I grew up in still exists in every sphere, including the internet. A small but vocal portion of the Dark Shadows fandom cling to their conservative ideologies that love may only exist between a man and a woman. If youbreathe a word suggesting the beloved Jonathan Frid may have been romantically involved with men they will be on you like blood on fangs. These fans time and again sing the refrain they “don’t care what adults do in the bedroom as long as they don’t have to hear about it.” Initially this makes many queer fans such as myself reluctant or even fearful to share their views online. Gratefully we have many spaces, including CHS, where queer fans can feel safe from bigotry.

In addition to the backlash fans receive for celebrating the queerness of the talent involved in creating Dark Shadows, queer fans are also criticized by our straight counterparts for daring to see ourselves reflected in “their” characters. Although queer representation is making leaps and bounds today historically, the LGBTQ community have little to no representation in the media we consume. To find ourselves represented we have to read between the lines. Recently I saw a comment accusing queer fans of “appropriating Dark Shadows to push their agenda.” For instance one of my favorite plot lines on Dark Shadows is 1970 Parallel Time. This timeline more or less mirrors the plot of the classic gothic novel Rebecca. The main reason I love this story is that it brings my two favorite characters together. Julia takes on the Mrs. Danvers role while Angelique serves as the mysterious deceased wife Rebecca. Danvers has become a lesbian icon in popular culture due to her homoerotic devotion to the dead mistress of Manderley. What makes the storyline on Dark Shadows even more fun than the novel is here Rebecca rises from the grave and the two women are allowed to plot and scheme against the master of the house’s new bride. The knowing and flirtatious glances Hoffman and Alexis exchange when she ‘“arrives from abroad” betray something deeper than the mere professional relationship between a mistress and her maid.  Will some of the Dark Shadows fandom take issue with my interpretation of their relationship as sexual? Absolutely. Does this make my interpretation any less valid? Not for a second.

Dark Shadows has attracted a large queer fanbase over the five decades since it first aired. I truly believe on an instinctual level the LGBT community recognizes art that has been touched by our kind. Is this what draws us to the early horror films of James Whale or to Dark Shadows? I like to think so. What I love most during pride month is our visibility amongst thefandom. It brings me great joy to be reminded we are many and outnumber the bigots we often encounter on Facebook and elsewhere. I am so grateful for the wonderful people I have met and the queer friends I’ve made through the Dark Shadows community. Let us always remember we are many and our thoughts and feelings are valid. I know the many queers who have contributed to Dark Shadows over the years are looking down on us today, proud of the legacy we have created together. Happy Pride! 

Dark Shadows: A 50th Anniversary Appreciation

By BROOKE PERRIN

A young girl fresh out of college abandons the small town life she’s always known to fulfill her dreams in the big city. Cliché, I know, but this is where my story begins. Growing up in a tiny town in the Pacific Northwest, I had made tight bonds at our local community theatre, but few anywhere else. Since I was a small child, my passion had been film and the performing arts. My passions led to my parents taking me to New York City the summer before my senior year of high school. My path became clear…this was where I belonged. I was enraptured by the idea of making my living working with what I loved. I went on to get my degree in Theatre from the University of Montana. The summer I graduated from college I wasted no time. Within four weeks of my final class I was on a plane. I came to New York City at the age of 23 with two suitcases and the vague promise of a temporary job. I knew almost no one in my new home and for many months I didn’t have much in the way of friends or social outlets.

So I found solace in one place I had managed to find it a few times in the past: the messages boards on the Internet Movie Data Base. I grew up loving fantasy and horror films. I felt a connection to the so-called “monsters” and outcasts they characterized. I saw myself in these creatures who were loners, or were ostracized by their communities. As I child I could often be found in the corner of a room dressed all in black reading Shakespeare or Edgar Allen Poe while the other kids played sports or joined the student council. These influences led me, and I can only imagine many the other lonely outcasts of my generation, to the films of Tim Burton. He had been an outcast himself and so eloquently depicted our own feelings of loneliness and isolation through the ionic characters created in his films. In an attempt to connect with others of my kind, I developed a rapport on these IMDB message boards with other fans. It seemed as though I had discovered a safe haven for kids who felt different and excluded amongst their peers. I looked forward to seeing the familiar usernames on those first threads when Burton’s next film was announced. Shortly after I moved to New York in 2010, my message board friends and I were all eagerly anticipating production to begin on Burton’s newest project: a big screen adaptation of the classic gothic soap opera Dark Shadows.

Until the film had been announced, I knew little about the show aside from seeing its iconic crashing waves appear as a dated piece of set dressing in a few movies. Once I had studied up on the series and its supernatural tendencies, I suspected this show was for me. At this time I was temping at my first job in New York as an evening receptionist in Lincoln Center. The long, quiet hours left me on my own and afforded me plenty of downtime. I remember my eyes feeling glued to my tiny iPhone screen as Barnabas Collins held Maggie Evans captive in the old house. I had real empathy for Willie Loomis torn between his obligations to his master and his love for this young girl. I became totally invested in the world of Collinsport. I devoured every episode available on Netflix and eventually began purchasing the DVD volumes to continue the series. As I delved deeper into the series, I again found a comforting sense of integration and community amongst others who took to these message boards. A new mixture of fans had melted together between the familiar faces I had seen return with each new Burton film and fans who came to the IMBD boards out of love for the original series and its 1991 revival. They too were passionate about the series and looked forward to its return to the big screen. We all shared in the excitement as entertainment magazines began printing photos of Burton’s work in progress. My often lonely evenings and weekends were now filled with conversations about Dark Shadows. I spent hours scouring the internet for new info to share with my comrades.

Eventually we migrated from message boards to Facebook. We created our own Dark Shadows group and began to learn more about who each other really were. For instance my friend who I had previously known only as JDK017, I now knew as Jeff. A few of us even began discussing possible plans to meet in person the weekend the new Dark Shadows film opened. In the beginning it seemed to be mostly a nice thought that was never going to happen, but to my surprise a couple of the closest of my new friends, Carl and Megan, really did make the pilgrimage and flew to New York. The prospect of meeting them in person left me nervous and excited. I had to acknowledge to myself how crazy meeting these people I had only know online sounded and truthfully probably was. To my relief they both arrived as the friends I had come to know over the past two years. There were the awkward moments of hesitation before we finally fell into the rhythm we had developed online. We had a great time really getting to know each other in person. They felt like true friends now as opposed to internet acquaintances.

On the night of May 10, 2012, the big moment had arrived. We made our way to the Lincoln Square AMC with its daunting IMAX screen for the midnight premiere of the new film. There was a sort of nervous but excited energy amongst us. Would the movie we had so long awaited disappoint us in devastating ways? For two hours we sat absorbed in the experience of watching these beloved characters reborn. I remember feeling completely blown away by Eva Green’s performance. Until that moment I had never thought anyone could touch Lara Parker’s iconic portrayal of Angelique Bouchard but was happy to be mistaken. I also was delighted to see a much more proactive Elizabeth Stoddard in Michelle Pfieffer. We left the theater that night with a sense of satisfaction at the culmination of two years of eager anticipation. Although my opinion of the film has definitely evolved over the years I do find it satisfactory many of the female characters were given meatier roles. On the other hand I remain disappointed ,with what the screenwriter chose to do to my beloved Julia Hoffman. Despite these issues it remains one the most significant cinematic experiences of my life. I had spent ,years of my life building up to the excitement of that moment. Being able to share the experience of seeing the film for the first time with my new friends was unique and extraordinary.

That same year I attended my first Dark Shadows Festival. I met more friends (including the above mentioned Jeff) I had made over the previous years online and made many new ones. I was fortunate to meet genuine people who really were the friends I had imagined as I got to know them through the internet. I was able to join this unique community of people who came together every year to celebrate their love of the show and its legacy. The festival was an entirely different but equally moving experience. At first I felt intimidated by this established group of friends who already knew each other. They had formed relationships that spanned decades. To my relief and surprise, I was embraced by many these wonderful people. I wasn’t treated as an outsider or new kid to be shunned from their clique. I was one of them and they were welcoming. I began looking forward to these annual gatherings and haven’t missed one since. Each year it becomes more about a reunion of friends and less about Dark Shadows itself. Since then, Carl, Jeff, and I have been on various road trips to the locations used in the original series, in addition to annual festivals and reunions. A few times we have even met just to catch up with each other without the fandom providing a motive.

Looking back on it now, I realize how significant discovering Dark Shadows has been to my life. For me, the Dark Shadows fandom has been about the wonderful human beings I’ve encountered and how these friends provided comfort and companionship during a difficult transition in my life. For that, this gothic soap opera will always hold a singular place in my heart.