Hey, you ... want a free Dark Shadows audio book?

 

Marylin Ross is experiencing a renaissance that almost defies belief. Hermes Press is publishing trade paperback-sized reprints of the author's Dark Shadows novels, while Paperback Classics/Oasis Audio has sequestered Kathryn Leigh Scott in the studio for the better part of the last two years, recording audiobook editions of the series. Oasis also has a number of non-Dark Shadows audiobook gothics from Ross, including such titles as Phantom Manor, Witches Cove and Phantom of the Swamp. There are also Kindle and Audible editions of the Dark Shadows series, as well as an audiobook edition of Dark Shadows: Return to Collinwood (read by Kathryn, Lara Parker, David Selby and Jim Pierson) due out next week. It's a great time to be a sad goth.

Oasis has graciously given me a stack of Marilyn Ross audios to give away. With 28 installments of the series already released (and another coming this week) I figured the obvious place to start is Barnabas Collins and the Mysterious Ghost ... number 13 in the series. 

Why this one? It was possibly my first introduction to Dark Shadows. I found a copy of this title, as well as a great many others, in a used bookstore in Penn, England, around 1980. I even wrote a book report on it! (You can see my art for the report to your right.) If you think a drawing of a fanged vampire lunging for a ghost with a dagger in his hand is a little inappropriate for schoolwork ... well, you haven't seen the piece I drew for the novelization of The Omen that same year. I was a delight to have in class.

I've made previous contests ... challenging. (Remember when I recreated a coloring contest from 1933 as part of a King Kong giveaway?) Let's keep this one easy, though. All you have to do to win CD of  Barnabas Collins and the Mysterious Ghost is to find this story on Facebook (hint hint: it's HERE) and share it. I'll select a winner from the "shares" attached to the post at random.

That's it! I'll announced the winner Monday, Oct. 12. Meanwhile, listen to the Bodice Tipplers podcast talk about the first Barnabas Collins story in the Marilyn Ross series. 

The Marilyn Ross Codex #2: Victoria Winters

BY JUSTIN PARTRIDGE

Welcome back, creepies, to the Alternate Collinsport of The Marilyn Ross Codex! Today we delve into the sophomore installment of this Earth-2 like canon, Victoria Winters. Though I have to say, these Ross books haven’t really wowed me just yet (like my beloved Big Finishverse has), but Victoria Winters is a marked improvement over the slightly stodgy introduction volume.

For one I feel like this second installment makes much better use of the expanded cast, mixing them all up in a plot involving a mysterious invalid, a hot older ex of Elizabeth Stoddard’s, and a possible serial killer with a ghoulish calling card. For another, it’s pretty damn weird! While the opening book was more about establishing the prose-only cast and laying out the groundwork of “Collins House”, Victoria Winters just GETS to it, throwing out the introductions in the first few pages and then just having a blast throughout eleven breezy chapters. All read lovingly and animatedly by Maggie Evans herself Kathryn Leigh Scott. But enough of my yammering, let’s get into it, yes?

So right at the top, Ross does a bit of housecleaning and I feel like this volume is all the stronger for it. Picking up a thread from the first novel, Ross reveals that Ernest Collins, handsome concert violinist and one of many of Victoria’s potential suitors, is back in New York, having been pressured back out of Earth-2 Collinsport due to townies thinking he killed his first wife Elaine, and subsequent lover Stella Hastings (a spectre that hangs over this whole novel). Carolyn and crystal ball enthusiast David are also shuffled out of the action this novel, having decided to take an extended Summer holiday away from Collinsport.

But Victoria Winters doesn’t suffer for their loss. Instead, Ross replaces them almost instantly, building out this novel’s main action around new characters Henry Francis, former beau of Elizabeth and “successful” stock broker, and his daughters, invalid Dorothy and ginger sex pot Rachel. The Francis family are in the market for new digs, so naturally Elizabeth offers to let them stay in a vacant “Collins House” apartment while Dorothy waits to be examined by a new litany of specialists. As soon as the Francis family settles in however, straaaaange goings-on start to stalk the great House. Specifically the ghost of Stella Hastings and someone with a real hard-on for trying to strangle Victoria.

So, not only do we have the apparent tried-and-true hook of “newcomers arrive in Collinsport, weird stuff follows”, but Ross’ prose here makes a pretty weighty meal of it. Mainly due to his (or maybe their? Pronouns are weird in regards to pen names) commitment to getting the whole of the cast in on the action. While Victoria is still very much the driving force of this action, characters like her friend and spitting image Nora Grant, her hot cousin and Collins family lawyer Will Grant, and even the irascible Burke Devlin all get meaty turns at trying to suss out the mystery of the Francis family and who exactly could be the “Silk Stocking Murderer”.

And better still, the whole affair takes some truly weird and Gothy turns. I’m talking people not saying who they really are, an attempted murder on Roger’s boat (oh yeah Roger has a boat now, its hilarious), and a haughty, also hot artist named Paul Caine who keeps skulking around Collins House. Tempering that weirdness is the renewed focus on soapy aspects of Dark Shadows, in particular the multi-angled love triangle Miss Winters finds herself in. Though Ernest is still in New York, his love still extends outward thanks to pointedly written letters promising to put a ring on it upon his return. Though Vicky isn’t just sitting by the window pining. No, no, dear readers because she starts to get the moves put on her by both Will (who I am into) and Paul (who I am NOT into). It gives the whole thing a nice bit of romance and sexual tension that I can always appreciate.

BUT, as much I liked this one, this range is still far from perfect. I still think the lack of production value really hurt these audiobooks. Now, I’m not saying that we need like a full range of sound effects and the like. But maybe just a BIT more of Robert Cobert music outside of the opening and closing? If only just to accentuate Scott’s wonderful reading cadence, which is even better here as she gets to lean into her innate charm and warmth.

That nitpick aside however, Victoria Winters is, I feel, is a fantastic follow up to the opening novel. One that displays a better handle on the alternate cast members and threads the needle between the soapy and pulpy tone of the TV series. The opening novel read like a fun anomaly, but Victoria Winters reads like a real-deal universe starter. One that can handedly sustain itself, while standing just slightly apart from its source material.

NEXT TIME! Strangers At Collins House from 1967! Apparently we get some of that sweet, sweet 1910’s action with this one. Until then, be seeing you.

New editions of classic Dark Shadows novels coming in 2020

Hermes Press is done a tremeondous job of restoring much of the vintage anxilliary media associated with Dark Shadows. In addition to publishing hardcover collections of the entire Gold Key comics series that ran from 1969 to 1976,  they also brought us amazing restorations of the complete newspaper comic strip (with the Sunday editions in color) and the 1970 Dark Shadows Story Digest.

In 2020, Hermes Press will be adding reprints of the Marilyn Ross novels to their catalog. The first of 32-book series, simply titled "Dark Shadows," will be available in February and feature the novel's original cover art. After that, the series will be published bi-monthly in pairs until 2021.

It appears that the novelization of House of Dark Shadows will not be among the series, though, perhaps due to rights issues. Perhaps Hermes Press will eventually work those issues out during the coming year.

Earlier this year, the first round of audiobook adaptions of the Marilyn Ross novels went on sale. Read by Kathryn Leigh Scott, the first five books in the series -- Dark Shadows, Victoria Winters, Strangers at Collins House, The Mystery of Collinwood, The Curse of Collinwood, and Barnabas Collins -- are now available on Amazon. The availability of the CD version of these books remains unpredictable, but the entire line is available instantly through Audible.

You can pre-order the first book in the Dark Shadows series from Heremes Press HERE.

Below is the full anouncement regarding the Dark Shadows reprint series

Hermes Press to Reprint Full 32 Volumes of Vintage “Dark Shadows” Novels 

Dark Shadows: The Complete Paperback Library Reprint #1, “Dark Shadows,”; ISBN 978-1- 61345-190-8; $14.99; written by Marilyn Ross; paperback; 6 x 8 inches; printed text; archival edition; first in a series of 32 novels; available in Feb, 2020.

The classic Dark Shadows novels, originally published by Paperback Library in the 1960s and 1970s, return with Hermes Press' archival reprint of all 32 titles in the series. The reprint seriesʼ namesake debut book, “Dark Shadows,” which first saw print in December, 1966, will feature the original painted artwork on the cover.

Each of the 32 novels will present the complete text re-proofed and error free along with the faithfully reprinted cover art. The Hermes Press reprints will present the titles in an enlarged 6 inch by 8 inch format, printed on archival paper and permanently bound for reading enjoyment without cracking or loose pages. Each book in the series is based on the Dark Shadows television serial created by Dan Curtis and was written by prolific fiction author William Edward Daniel Ross under the pen name of Marilyn Ross. The forerunner to today's immensely popular vampire and supernatural themed television programs and theatrical films, Dark Shadows still garners serious attention as an iconic TV show with a devoted cult following and a new primetime series planned for 2020.

Initially focusing on young governess Victoria Winters and the mysterious happenings at the isolated New England estate Collinwood, the stories gradually shift to emphasize tormented vampire Barnabas Collins. Hermes Press' complete reprint of the 1966-72 series of Dark Shadows novels makes the entire collection of these classic books available once again to fans of gothic romance, suspense and alluring tales and compelling characters of Dark Shadows.

Subsequent reprints of books #2-32 will follow in pairs on a bi- monthly basis throughout 2020-21. 

The Marilyn Ross renaissance is upon us

As long as there's loneliness, Marilyn Ross will never go out of style. Ross's books are made to be read alone in bed, preferably on cold, grey mornings. They're pure, undiluted escapism.

Ross was one of many pen names used by Dan Ross, a one-man gothic romance Gutenberg press. The sheer volume of his work was enough to land him in Guinness World Records. In about five years, Ross churned out 32 Dark Shadows novels, alone, before they ceased publication in 1972. (Among that number was the novelization of 1970's House of Dark Shadows.) That adds up to more than 5,100 pages.

Early in 2020, the Dark Shadows series will be going back into print. My source tells me the announcement is pending, but we can expect to see the classic Dark Shadows novels in print beginning in February. Hermes Press, the company that painstakingly restored the entire Dark Shadows comic series from Gold Key and the syndicated newspaper strip, is publishing them.



Earlier this year, the first round of audiobook adaptions of the Marilyn Ross novels went on sale. Read by Kathryn Leigh Scott, the first five books in the series -- Dark Shadows, Victoria Winters, Strangers at Collins House, The Mystery of Collinwood, The Curse of Collinwood, and Barnabas Collins -- are now available on Amazon. The availability of the CD version of these books remains unpredictable, but the entire line is available instantly through Audible.

Stay tuned for more details.

Dark Shadows: The Marilyn Ross Codex #1 - Dark Shadows

By JUSTIN PARTRIDGE

I suppose I owe you lovely readers an apology first and foremost.

It has been a good while since I have graced the hallowed halls of the CHS. So long in fact that my typewriter and paltry desk lamp have been moved BACK down to the Cupboard Under the Stairs, right back next to the mop and spare encyclopedias. It really is my bad.

Truth be told, some freelance work took me up to accursed Bangor and kept me there far, far too long. I got to talk about Swamp Thing over at Newsarama a bunch. I covered some horror film festivals AND wrote in a quite good zine (available now and with issue #2 on the way!) over at Dis/Member. I was even in a magazine! The Eisner winning PanelXPanel #25, all about the Sandman franchise, which was a trip and a half. It would have all been worth it had I not been in that festering cesspool of mediocrity that is Bangor. Schlepping down to what they pass off as a bar, filling pieces while choking down that weak freaking tea they call beer all while dodging mouth-breathing jabronis who haven't heard a goddamn Steely Dan song they didn’t love.

Anyone who tells you Bangor is a “decent enough town” is WRONG. Dead wrong. And probably selling you something.

But I’m back! And I have plenty of work ahead of me, work that will hopefully get me out of the broom closet and back into something at least resembling a workspace. Which brings us to this new column! The Marilyn Ross Codex! That’s right, after all these years, the Paperback Library’s’ Marilyn Ross books are finally receiving the audiobook treatment thanks to Oasis Audio. We here at the CHS have gotten a hold of some of these beauties and are going to be taking a listen to them. The immensely talented and far smarter than I am Alice Collins (@VampAly!) will also be joining us eventually along the way, and maybe a few other guests, if yer lucky! Welcome to The Marilyn Ross Codex!

So, I have a special relationship with the Marilyn Ross books, in that I DON’T have a relationship with them. Like my beloved Big Finishverse, I had only become aware of the cult classic tie-in novels here recently. Which is a bummer as I have heard they are quite insane. Like, fighting mummies and offering a completely separate prose universe alongside the TV canon insane. All of that sounds very much my jam. A lot of fans seem to really like these, and I have always meant to get around to them but a 32 book long series is daunting even for the most devout of fans. The closest I have come to really getting into these is listening to the fantastic Bodice Tipplers podcast episode about book #6 Barnabas Collins, by all rights, the horniest of the Marilyn Ross affairs.

Which is why I am excited to get to these reviews! I now have a pretty great in point for these and should I want to double-dip, buying both the old novels to display while keeping the audiobooks as my “reading copy” I totally can! It is nicely symmetrical for the obsessive collecting dork in me.

So how is the actual content itself, you may be asking now. And to that I say, pretty great! Though lacking the production values of the Big Finish audios and clocking in at a pretty decent chunk of time (which I will get into later), this first audio, carefully and lovingly read by Maggie Evans herself Kathryn Leigh Scott, is a fantastic entry point into this “Expanded Universe” of Dark Shadows.

Stop me if you have heard this before, but Victoria Winters has come to Collinwood. Lured by an offer to work at *checks notes* Collins House as governess to a child that lives there. Something, something beginning and the end of the world, you get it.  What follows is a pulpy, fairly loose adaptation of the first dozen or so episodes of the original TV series, stocked with all new characters and variants on the show’s opening dynamics. Characters like Ernest Collins, a seemingly famous concert violinist and suspected murderer who lives in Collins House (a canny anachronism that continues for the first few Ross books).   

As a fan of Expanded Universe, I sincerely love the idea of a semi-independent canon that stands alongside the TV canon, with it’s own cast and storylines. That said, the lack of production values is a bit of a bummer, especially when compared to the still ongoing Big Finish Dark Shadows line. Another bummer is the lack of any other cast members. Maybe the idea further down the line is to get other cast members in the booth and I DO love hearing Scott talk just in general as she has a smooth, caring tone that I find psychologically soothing. But part of the charm and drive of the Big Finishverse is hearing her play once again against other actors. I fear these might sound a bit stuffy after the full-cast efforts.

I also fear that the time commitment of this opener might be a turn off for casual fans. Clocking in at six hours, this thing really is a true blue audiobook (which, honestly, should have been something I anticipated going into this). Which means it's just bare bones reading for the whole time. Not helping matters is the fact that this first book is largely worldbuilding, setting up Vicki, Collins House, and the expanded cast of these novels. It has a pretty good hook, but anyone familiar with the TV canon won’t really be too surprised here. That said, I think die-hard Shadows people will find it a pretty great adaptation of this weird EU starter, but not having the frills of music or other cast members might be a tougher sell for me when I yell at people to get into the franchise. 

You might think that is a contradiction to what I said above, but I really, really did enjoy Dark Shadows. I think Scott continues to be really comfortable behind the microphone in any capacity and Ross’ odd, but engagingly written prose provides a spooky weekend listen for those still wondering what the hell this Dark Shadows thing is all about anyway. Those in the know too will find this fun as well as it brings the weirdness of tie-ins and the franchise overall into a wider market, hopefully snapping up more fans and devotees. To quote a great man, Joe Bob says, check it out.

NEXT TIME! Marilyn Ross #2! 1967’s Victoria Winters! To be honest, I’m just hoping we can get to the mummy fighting. Be seeing you!

Justin Partridge has always loved monsters and he thinks that explains a lot about him. When he isn’t over analyzing comics at Newsarama or ranting about Tom Clancy over at Rogues Portal, he is building Call of Cthulhu games, spreading the good word of Anti-Life, or rewatching Garth Marenghi's Darkplace for the dozenth time. He can be reached at the gasping Lovecraftian void that is Twitter @j_partridgeIII or via e-mail at [email protected] Odds are he will want to talk about Hellblazer.

Here today, gone today

The marketing for the audiobook editions of the classic vintage Dark Shadows novels by Marilyn Ross has been ... interesting. Compact disc and/or digital downloads for most of the series appeared on Amazon back in March, but I was told that these advance sales links were anomalies and that "nothing happening" with the books at the time. The name of an actress attached to perform the readings was included with these solicitations,which made these accidental listings seem improbably elaborate. The online concensus was that these new audiobooks were unauthorized recordings being produced by unknown persons ... a conspiracy theory I was not equipped to dispute. Three months later there's a not-insignifcant number of fans who believe these audios are bogus.

But now it looks like they are happening. The proof? Amazon has posted revised (and kind of awful) cover art for the first two books in the line, "Dark Shadows" and "Victoria Winters," with samples of a new, familiar actress perfoming the readings: Kathryn Leigh Scott. You can listen to a sample for yourself HERE.

Good news, right? Who knows! These first two recordings (MP3 CDs available for preorder for $5.86) were scheduled to be released today ... and are now tagged "temporarily out of stock."

You can find "Dark Shadows" available for preorder HERE, and "Victoria Winters" HERE. I guess we'll get them when we get them.

"Marilyn Ross" was the pen name of Dan Ross, a gothic romance hack who wrote more than 300 books over the course of his career. Among those titles are 31 books in the "Dark Shadows" series, published between 1966 and 1972. I'm actually excited about the audio adaptions of this series and delighted that Scott is reading them ... but early indications suggest this effort is going to be a bumpy ride. Buckle up!

UPDATE: I pre-ordered the first audiobook back in March, which is now marked as "shipped" and scheduled for delivery today. I'm on pins and needles.

UPDATE #2: After being marked as "Shipped," Amazon revised my order to "We'll let you know when the product is available." For what it's worth, it appears that "Dark Shadows" and "Victoria Winters" are available as audio downloads from Audible.

Podcast: Barnabas Collins and the Bodice Tipplers

Jonathan Frid is on the cover of "Barnabas Collins," the 1968 Dark Shadows novel by Marilyn Ross, but he's otherwise absent from the book. You might even argue that Barnabas Collins, at least the character you might know from the television show, is also absent from the tale. A vampire bearing that name makes his way through the course of the story but, unguided by Frid's peculiar wounded menace and a staff of writers that understood how to find humanity even in the most inhuman of characters, there's not much in the story will look familiar to fans of the television series.

And that's OK. It might even be a good thing, even if the results are often not that good.


Tie-in properties are so tightly managed today that they rarely ever surprise. There's no place for innovation in stories intentionally designed not to affect the events around it. No matter the level of crisis introduced, we'll find our plucky heroes right back at square one by the end of the story. A Hollywood studio spent $200 million on the next movie in their blockbuster series and they're certainly not going to have their narrative upended by some $5 book.

The rules were different for tie-in proprieties when Dark Shadows hit the airwaves in 1966. Back then, these things were just products to be dumped on shelves, and little thought was given to whether or not they were any good. There were efforts taken to maintain a basic level of continuity (if you did nothing else, you had to at least make sure Spock, Napoleon Solo and Will Robinson's names were all spelled correctly) but after that all bets were off. It's just too difficult to maintain continuity between a monthly comic series and a weekly television series. The people that should have been doing quality control on these products were otherwise occupied, leaving those details to lawyers only concerned with making sure the networks and production companies got paid.

Dark Shadows had the additional complication of being a daily series. Whole characters and storylines would be over before the the next Marilyn Ross novel would hit stands, no matter how quickly he cranked them out. Trying to make these narratives line up was impossible, so Ross didn't bother trying. Besides, Ross (actually Dan Ross, a one-man gothic romance factory who wrote more than 300 novels under a variety of pen names) couldn't watch the show at his home in Canada, anyway. The end result was a line of books that only occasionally resembled the television series, usually by accident.

The same was true (to various degrees) for the Dark Shadows comics published by Gold Key, the daily newspaper strip and the two feature films, House of Dark Shadows and Night of Dark Shadows. (Both movies killed off characters that were still appearing on the daily on the television series.) Just to make things even more difficult, the daytime serial even dabbled in parallel timelines, giving fans an almost endless buffet of interpretations.

While I've usually enjoyed seeing how the characters and situations from Dark Shadows might have developed in the hands of other creators, the differences can be quite jarring for even the most hardcore fan. And, if you don't already love the series, you might be less patience with Ross's seat-of-his-pants style of storytelling. He wrote more than 30 Dark Shadows novels in six years, as well as dozens of others during the same time frame. It's unsurprising that he was unable to maintain a continuity with the television series, but he was also unable to keep the facts straight in his own novels. The books frequently contradict each other. "Barnabas Collins" manages the stunning feat of contradicting itself.

This is the situation that Sara and Courtney wandered into with latest installment of the Bodice Tipplers podcast. To say they were confused is an understatement. If you're looking for an explanation for Dark Shadows' appeal, you ain't gonna find it in this book. It was kind of a lose-lose situation for everybody involved, not the least of which was Dan Ross. The novel was likely begun when Barnabas Collins was still intended to be a one-off villain on Dark Shadows in 1967. By the time the book hit the stands in November 1968, the character had become an unlikely pop idol and sex symbol. But the Barnabas Collins depicted in "Barnabas Collins" was a sexual predator with a penchant for grooming young girls into his service, a character that hardly earns the "America's grooviest ghoul" starburst plastered on the back cover. There's little fun to be had here, save for the archaeological kind.

To summarize: "Barnabas Collins" is a novel written by a man using a pseudonym about a television series he didn't watch, showcasing a character that had changed radically between the time the book was started and published, and features a supporting cast of characters that has almost nothing to do with anything seen on the daytime serial. Confused yet?

This episode marks the last one for Bodice Tipplers here at The Collinsport Historical Society. As of today they've got their own dedicated podcast feed, which means those of you listening here need to head over to wherever you get your podcasts and directly subscribe to them. (You can find them at iTunes HERE.)


You can listen to "Barnabas Collins" in the app near the top of this post, or download it directly HERE.

Jenn Vix has kindly let us use her song "In the House of Dark Shadows," a collaboration with Reeves Gabrels, in this podcast. Below is a full playlist of Jenn's music to accompany the "Barnabas Collins" episode. You can follow her on Twitter @JennVix or at her website http://jennvix.band/

Classic Dark Shadows novels getting audio editions in 2019

UPDATE: I'm told the Amazon listings aren't accurate and that there are no plans at the moment to release audio editions of the Marilyn Ross books. Which raises more questions than it answers, but that's where we are.

---

There's a lot to unpack here, so let's start at the top: According to Amazon, the classic Dark Shadows novels by Marilyn Ross will be given the audiobook treatment. While looking for a link to a particular title, I noticed an "Audio CD" edition of the book and assumed it was an error. After taking a look around the website, though, it appears many of the titles are set for release in audio editions throughout the year, beginning March 26 with the first title in the series, "Dark Shadows." Several more already have release dates, at least up to #13 in the series, "Barnabas Collins and the Mysterious Ghost," which does not yet have a release date. That means those of us who are fans of the ridiculous "Barnabas, Quentin and the Body Snatchers" will have to wait a bit longer for an audio edition of that trash-terpiece.

There are no other details available at Amazon. I'm curious to see who will be reading these books, and whether or not that $6.99 "Audio CD" is actually an MP3. (That price seems awfully cheap for a CD.)

I've heard rumblings online that omnibus editions of the Ross books will also become available this year. Is it true? I don't know! Nobody tells me anything. Which doesn't seem like a great marketing strategy, but what do I know?

Which brings me back to the original point to this blog post: The Bodice Tipplers Podcast is temporarily abandoning their coverage of traditional romance novels in March. An episode dedicated to "Imzadi," the Star Trek: The Next Generation novel by Peter David, is already in the can. They're recording an episode about "Flowers in the Attic" by V.C. Andrews today, and will round out the month with ... "Barnabas Collins" by Marilyn Ross! If you haven't read the book and want to before the podcast, you can find used copies HERE.

Meanwhile, the Bodice Tipplers podcast have done pretty good for themselves since launching in October. They not only hit their $400 fundraising goal for RAINN, but surpassed it by $200. They were mentioned by Oregon's Source Weekly in a roundup that also included Netflix's "One Day at a Time," "Luke Cage" and "Jessica Jones," and even got noticed by Smart Bitches, Trashy Books (yay!) and The AV Club (yay!) So go check them out www.bodicetipplers.com.

You won't know the facts until you've read the fiction

This week marks the 50th anniversary of the first appearance of Barnabas Collins on DARK SHADOWS. To celebrate the occasion, The Collinsport Historical Society is spending the week looking back at the "introductions" of the character in various media.

By WALLACE McBRIDE

It took a while for the DARK SHADOWS marketing machine to start generating Barnabas Collins merchandise. Dan Curtis Productions had an agreement in place with Paperback Library since the start of the series in 1966, which had produced a handful of short pulp novels focusing on governess Victoria Winters. But it wasn't until the end of 1968 until the publication schedule was able to add Barnabas Collins into the mix.

Cover for the 1968 U.S. edition.

Author Dan Ross (writing here under his wife's name, Marilyn) was one of the most prolific hack authors of the 20th century. Using more than two dozen pen names, he churned out hundreds of novels before his death in 1995. Unfortunately for readers, Ross lived in Canada — which didn't broadcast DARK SHADOWS during its original run on ABC. Consequently, Ross' DARK SHADOWS novels have little to do with the series beyond names and situations.

The pulp fiction version of Barnabas Collins is very different from his television counterpart. The character makes his debut in the appropriately titled installment "Barnabas Collins," a story that mostly ignores the continuity of the previous books. It begins with a hastily written wrap-around story that provides only the vaguest of links to the prior entry: On a dark and stormy night at Collinwood, governess Victoria Winters is reading a family history she discovered on a book shelf in the mansion. Matriarch Elizabeth Collins-Stoddard fills Victoria in on the missing gaps of the narrative, which involves her grandmother and a cousin from England named (ta-da!) Barnabas Collins. The story then leaps backward to the early part of the 20th century, where we meet ancestors Jonas and Margaret Collins, and their disabled daughter, Greta.

Barnabas maintains the usual cover story: He's the descendent of an American ancestor who migrated to England a century earlier and is interested in exploring his roots. This cover story masks his real intentions: Greta's bears an unfortunate resemblance to the lost Josette, and Barnabas hopes to woo her.

From there, things get really gross.

Cover for the 1976 German edition.

While TV Barnabas was content to kidnap and abuse Maggie Evans, Pulp Barnabas is setting up Josette Franchises all over Collinsport. His intentions on Greta are almost innocent when compared to his dealings with other women in the novel. Barnabas is slowly killing a young servant at Collinwood, who he has visiting the Old House each night for a little Josette cosplay and/or blood letting. Barnabas also has the owner of a private orphanage in town in his thrall, and has set his sights on a third Josette: An underage orphan who also looks a lot like his dead girlfriend. It seems that the gene pool in Collinsport is rather shallow.

After a few deaths in and around Collinwood, Margaret discovers Barnabas' secret: Her English cousin is a vampire who has been wandering the world since the end of the 18th century. They engage in a battle of wills, with Margaret taking temporary custody of Barnabas' child bride. (In his defense, Barnabas plans to wait until the child is of legal age before marrying her ... but that doesn't really make it better.)

By the end of the book most of its characters are dead — including young Greta. This presents a pretty significant continuity error in the novel's bookends: Elizabeth mentions that Margaret is her grandmother, whose only daughter dies during the course of the tale. It's a little unclear how Elizabeth entered the picture with such a significant pruning of the family tree.

I don't think fans have ever really embraced Ross' version of DARK SHADOWS. In 1966, he was the perfect choice to continue the storyline in print. Ross was a one-stop clearing house for gothic romance in the 1960s, the kind of "women running from houses" stories that Dan Curtis was trying to translate into a daytime drama. The introduction of Barnabas Collins eventually changed that dynamic, moving the series away from its pulp roots and into more traditional horror/science fiction. His pulp counterpart is a fairly traditional gothic anti-hero who has more in common with Jane Eyre than "Dracula." The DARK SHADOWS novels remain collectible (the books produced after the cancellation of the series remain some of the show's most sought-after merchandise), but fans have generally rejected their dry tone.

I'm a fan of his work, but will save my defense of Ross' writing for another time.

Up Next: Barnabas Collins makes his four-color debut!

DARK SHADOWS: Re-imagined as a generic gothic pulp

On April 1, 1987, author Dan Ross was among the guests on LATE NIGHT WITH DAVID LETTERMAN. It wasn’t the quality of his work that made Ross, a purveyor of gothic pulp novels since the early 1960s, an interesting guest for the show. In Letterman’s eyes Ross was a bit of a weirdo, a man with the will power to carve out a niche for himself in an unlikely market. He probably admired that quality and thought it would be funny to let him share the couch that night with Dolly Parton.

“To tell you the truth, (Letterman) didn't really stress any particular books,” Ross told writer Craig Hamrick a few years later. “He stressed the number of books I had written, which seemed to be most interesting to him. But as far as I can remember, there wasn't any mention made of DARK SHADOWS at all.”

Under the pseudonym Marilyn Ross, he wrote 32 original novels in the DARK SHADOWS series, as well as the “novelization” of MGM’s feature film, HOUSE OF DARK SHADOWS. That’s a lot of work, but pales in comparison to his lifetime output: The New Brunswick Literary Encyclopedia says Ross published 358 novels, 12 plays, and more than 600 short stories in his lifetime.

The original book jacket, left, was redesigned the following year. Barnabas Collins does not appear in this book, though.

But those numbers are a little misleading. Ross was a believer in working smart, not hard. It wouldn’t be a stretch to say that he didn’t write 358 individual novels as much as he wrote the same book 358 times. As with his spiritual predecessors (people like Lester Dent, Walter Gibson and Norvell Page) Ross frequently worked from a formula. He was obliged to generate a certain number of books every year, meaning that perspiration would always trump inspiration. There's a samey-ness to his work that's unavoidable.

Still, there were glimmers of greatness peppered through his novels. While I’d stop short of calling them "good," I love these stupid, wonderful, plodding romance books. Unencumbered by logic, there’s something sweet and dreamlike about them.

The first book in the series, simply titled “Dark Shadows,” hit stands in December, 1966, about six months after the show debuted on daytime television. The release of this book, as well as the second installment the following March, tells us a lot about producer Dan Curtis’ arrangement with ABC. DARK SHADOWS replaced a teen soap opera called NEVER TOO YOUNG, which starred Tony Dow of LEAVE IT TO BEAVER, Tommy Rettig of LASSIE and Dack Rambo. That series was axed after a year, airing 192 episodes. Curtis probably felt like he had exactly that long to make DARK SHADOWS work, which is what led to the introduction of Barnabas Collins at roughly the same point in the series that NEVER TOO YOUNG was cancelled.

Ross was not given much to work with when developing the novels, but he was provided a lot of latitude. He was obviously forbidden from resolving any of the show’s long-standing mysteries within the pages of the novels, and many of the supporting players make only obligatory cameos in the first book.  Overall, it gets the story more-of-less right, while also getting most of the specific details wrong.

“The ominous clouds of the October afternoon had warned of bad weather on the way and now the threat was being fulfilled. Victoria Winters sat huddled in a corner of the shabby back seat of the taxi that she'd hired in the village to take her to Collins House, aware of the driving rain and high wind that had come with the darkness of early evening.”

These are the words that introduced Victoria Winters to readers in “Dark Shadows,” and already the imagery of the series has been distorted. Victoria’s haunting midnight train ride is mentioned only in passing, while her destination still clings to an early — and ultimately abandoned — creative decision made during the production of the show’s first episode. The name “Collins House” is one of a few holdovers from the series bible to survive into Ross’ books, while the relative absence of Burke Devlin (described here as a “wealthy, retired eccentric,”) Joe Haskell and Maggie Evans suggests he didn't know how important these characters were supposed to be.

Roger, Elizabeth, David and Carolyn (referred to as “Caroline” in the early chapters before inexplicably changing to the preferred spelling) are all introduced during the first chapter. Matthew Morgan is also hanging around, being creepy … and he’s not alone.

A police officer holds a photo of Jonathan Frid and a copy of Marilyn Ross's "The Curse of Collinwood."

Living on the Collins House estate is cousin Ernest Collins, a widowed concert violists suffering from depression and violent mood swings. He and Victoria meet in a gothic pulp’s twisted version of the Meet Cute: On her first approach to Collins House, Victoria spots a light in the darkness and moves to follow it. Ernest arrives just as she’s about to tumble into an uncovered well … during a thunder storm, no less.

“Bolt your doors well, Miss Winters,” Roger called after her drunkenly. “It’ll make you feel better, anyway, even if it doesn’t lock out all the ghosts!”

Ernest has also left behind him a trail of dead and/or disfigured women in his wake. His wife Elaine: DEAD. His next girlfriend was hit in the face with a LENGTH OF CHAIN. A third was PUSHED from the top of Widows’ Hill. Naturally, people get uncomfortable when Ernest aims his romantic interests at Victoria, a woman who has other problems to deal with.

Yes, we get a tidbit about Victoria’s mysterious heritage, but it’s just lip service. Ross has no intention of solving that riddle in this book, or any other, until after the proper series addresses it. But two plot points from the TV show carry over in some surprising ways. First up, Roger Collins is as menacing here as he was during the first few weeks of the TV series. The show’s bible explained that Roger was originally supposed to be outed as a murderer during the first storyline, which gave Ross permission to play up the character’s flaws. For example, Victoria is replacing the former governess, Mary Gordon, who quit after a rape-y “misunderstanding” with Roger. Victoria has real concerns about being attacked by the man, and comes close to leaving her employ after wondering about the presence of  a secret passage in her room.

Second: What is Elizabeth hiding in the basement? We spent a great many months watching Joan Bennett fondle that silver key around her neck, occasionally using it to check on the mysterious contents of a locked room in the basement of Collinwood. In the series, it’s revealed that Elizabeth and frenemy Paul Stoddard buried her husband’s body in the room (before later discovering they totally didn’t.)

In Ross’s version of the events, there's someone very different living in the locked basement room. The reports of the death of Ernest's first wife  were greatly exaggerated: Liz has been keeping the violent nutcase locked in the basement. You know, in the same house as her 17-year-old daughter and 9-year-old nephew. Parenting!

The sky had grown unusually dark and there was an eerie stillness in the air that warned of oncoming rain. He stood staring at her in the weird false twilight. Very softly he said, "Victoria, you're a remarkable young woman.”

Elaine has little problem with escaping from her room, thanks to the Scooby Doo network of secret passages riddling the mansion. It proves to be remarkable easy for Elaine to ambush Victoria in the halls one evening and frog march her — at knife point — to an observation platform at the top of the mansion. The plan is to push the new governess to her death. After a brief tussle during another convenient thunderstorm, Elaine falls to the rocks below, bring a quick end to this absurd tale.

And WOW, does it end. The romance between Victoria and Ernest blossoms in much the same was as two lovers in a Taylor Swift song: Their “love” had the oppressive desperation of a suicide pact, with no thought given to their lives beyond the moment. It’s incredibly creepy, but we get some measure of resolve when Ernest decides he's leaving town for a while.

The Collins family had come to seem like her own—perhaps one day she would discover this to be true. In any event, she looked forward to the weeks and months ahead. She could cope with Roger; Carolyn was lovable, and she could get to know the gracious Elizabeth Collins Stoddard better in the strange old, old mansion by the sea, Collins House!

Odds Bobbins

• Isaac Collins arrived in the new world “before the Mayflower dropped anchor” and founded Collinsport.
• Jeremiah Collins built Collins House in 1830.
• Roger is pouring brandy when introduced in the book. 
• Among the non-canon characters we meet here are “lantern jawed” cabbie Henry Jones, Foundling Home Director Charles Fairweather, and Collins family lawyer Will Grant.
• The 1861 Victorian novel “East Lynne” is mentioned. Wikipedia says the book is “remembered chiefly for its elaborate and implausible plot, centering on infidelity and double identities.” This should give you some insight into Ross’ goals for his “Dark Shadows” novels.

Ridiculous, amazing DARK SHADOWS book covers from Germany

DARK SHADOWS has had several lives outside of the original 1966-1971 television series. Even as the show was charting new (and frequently contradictory) timelines, its peripheral feature films, comic books, comic strips, novels and audio dramas adopted policies of charting their own unique narratives. It's possible to be a longtime fan of DARK SHADOWS without ever having seen the original television show.

For a lot of counties, watching the TV series was never an option. DARK SHADOWS has always been an unwieldy beast, and few markets were willing (or able) to make room in their schedules for 150 minutes of programming each week for the daily serial. But that didn't stop Barnabas Collins from eventually going globe hopping.

In Germany, DARK SHADOWS found a second life in pulp magazines. The Paperback Library published 32 DARK SHADOWS novels written by Marilyn Ross, some of which were later recycled as content for German horror- and gothic-themed pulp digests.

The first book to be published in Germany was Ross's first DARK SHADOWS novel from 1967, re-titled "Der Witwenhügel" (which refers to "Widows Hill" located near Collinwood). The novel was reprinted as part of the Gaslicht series in 1973.

The next books in the series, "Victoria Winters" (“Keine Gnade für Victoria”), "Strangers at Collins House" (“Die Fremde im Collins-Haus”), and "The Mystery of Collinwood" (“Das Haus über der Todesklippe”) would be published out-of-order in Gaslicht,

The misadventures of Barnabas Collins, though, would find their way to the Vampir: Horror Roman series in 1977 and 1978, usually featuring cover art that looked like something from Marvel's TOMB OF DRACULA comics. Below is a sampling of covers from that series. Look carefully and you'll spot Arnold Schwarzenegger on the back cover of the first photo.

The final image in this post is from the Dämonen-Land series, which published its first issue in 1989.

(Note: Many of these images made their first appearance on this site back in 2012. I was unable to learn much about their origins at the time, though.)

"Barnabas Collins and the Mysterious Ghost."

"The Secret of Barnabas Collins" and "Barnabas Collins and the Mysterious Ghost."

"Barnabas, Quentin and the Avenging Ghost" and "Barnabas, Quentin and the Haunted Cave"

"Barnabas, Quentin and the Nightmare Assassin"and "The Peril of Barnabas Collins"

"The Phantom and Barnabas Collins" and "The Demon of Barnabas Collins"

"Barnabas Collins" and "The Foe of Barnabas Collins"

"Barnabas Collins"

"Barnabas Collins"

Barnabas, Quentin and the Body Snatchers

By ALEXIS LATSHAW

(Not the real book cover.)

BARNABAS, QUENTIN AND THE BODY SNATCHERS. This book is legend. It’s basically a 1950s B sci-fi movie set in Collinsport. It’s amazing. It’s so amazing, in fact, that it deserves better than a review. It deserves commentary. And I am here to provide that service to the community.

The book’s set-up is a woman named Marjorie Gray and her space scientist father Murdoch going to Collinsport on an invitation from his old friend Roger, who has been replaced by a body-snatching alien (this is all on the back cover). That’s really all you need to know.

Our story begins with Murdoch trying to talk Marjorie into joining him on his trip to Maine, during which he reveals that the space project he’s been working on, planning a mission to the planet Velva, has made a shocking discovery: life!

“But what are the messages about?”

Her father’s face clouded. “We have not been able to decode the messages yet. We’re working on them now.”

Marjorie’s eyes widened. “I know! They’ve discovered your project and resent it,” she exclaimed. “They don’t wish to be invaded by us.” (Ross, 10-11)

Page 10 and Marjorie’s figured it out. Way to kill the suspense.

Meanwhile Marjorie happens to be dating a pop star named Jim James (no, not Jim Jones) who her father doesn’t like and who is definitely Quentin. He’s not thrilled with the Collinsport thing, but has to go do pop star things, so he warns her about Barnabas and gives her a ring before leaving her to her fate.

Only after she waved back did she take the time to examine the engagement ring he’d slipped on her finger. And she saw that it was a perfectly shaped wolf’s head of gold, containing two diamond eyes which seemed to glare at her menacingly. (Ross, 17)

Quentin, we need to talk about your taste in jewelry.

Here we get a bit of an interlude with Elizabeth and Barnabas talking about their impending guests, some weird noises Elizabeth heard, and doesn’t Roger seem a little off?

“I’ve become obsessed with the thought that some sort of plane did land in the fields near here that night. And that there was someone on it who entered this house and took Roger captive. Then this mysterious someone had Roger sent away on that plane while he installed himself here in his place.” (Ross, 21)

Because Collinsport is the kind of town where that’s the only logical conclusion.

But aside from Roger clearly being an evil alien impostor, things are going pretty well right up until Marjorie, within a couple of hours of arrival, is attacked by Barnabas. Because it wouldn’t be a Ross novel if Barnabas didn’t go straight for the heroine without thinking through the consequences of his actions. But Carolyn talks her out of telling anyone about the incident, so whatever.

When the light came on, [Carolyn] discovered it was her cousin Barnabas Collins standing there in the corner of her room in his caped coat.

“Did I frighten you?” he asked.

“Of course you did.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You attacked that girl! Our visitor!”

“I’m sorry about that, too.” (Ross, 36)

Yes, I’m sure you are. The remorse here is truly heartfelt.

I want to take a moment to talk about Ross!Barnabas. He is very much his own character. While he does seek out a cure for his vampirism, he’s a lot less tortured about it. He was never locked in the casket, so he’s spent the past century and a half or so being slick, charming, and more overtly sinister than his counterpart on the show. It gives the novels a different vibe.

Later on in the Carolyn conversation, we get the following exchange:

“But then why all the stories?” [About Quentin]

“I could ask why all the stories about me.”

“You mean they aren’t true?”

“I mean they are only partly true,” Barnabas said. “A great deal of what is told about us is pure legend. Or maybe libel would be a better word. I don’t say we are benign characters going around doing nothing but good. We have our compulsions. Occasionally they get the best of us.”

“As yours did with Marjorie tonight,” she reminded him.

“I’ll admit it,” Barnabas said calmly. (Ross, 38)

He can be pretty sanguine about the whole living dead thing, honestly. He says he hates his cursed existence and would like a cure someday, but if anything he seems more offended that the villagers hate him. In some of the books, including Body Snatchers, he seems about one bad impulse away from becoming a villain and he isn’t much of a romantic lead. It’s an interesting, more horror-esque, take on the character.

But of course the plot thickens, as Murdoch is kidnapped by the aliens and, per the back cover blurb, replaced by a body snatcher.

Roger Collins told the still transfixed and staring Murdoch Gray, “I am no more Roger Collins than my friend here is you. But we will take your places and do our work here until we have destroyed any chances of your rocket landing on Velva.” (Ross, 43)

So, basically, Marjorie really did figure the whole thing out back on page 10.

What we get for the next while is a lot of Murdoch and Roger acting like creeps who are either having an affair, possessed, and/or aliens (you never know). We also are introduced to Carolyn’s sort-of boyfriend, Donald, who likes speedboats. It’s not the most subtle bit of foreshadowing ever, but not bad. The ladies go off to hang out, but no one in the Collins family knows how to act normal and the conversation isn’t exactly light and fluffy, up to and including an encounter with the body snatchers, who are terrible liars.

And then it’s time for Marjorie to meet Barnabas properly! Which goes about as well as you might expect. He pokes around in her life, accuses her boyfriend of lying about his identity, kisses her out of nowhere (sure, why not?), and when all is said and done she doesn’t seem all that sold.

“You’re a strange person. I can’t decide about you. You’re a mixture of good and evil.”

“Isn’t everyone?” he asked lightly.

“The separation is clear with most people,” she said. “They have made their decision to be on one side or the other. I don’t believe you have.” (Ross, 64)

Well spotted, Marjorie! My opinion of you has risen.

Except she turns right around and defends Barnabas to her father, insisting that he’s charming and not evil at all. So maybe not. Her feelings on the whole Barnabas subject are awfully conflicted considering they’ve only spent about 15 minutes in each other’s company.

As we continue moving right along, the next day Marjorie actually gets to meet Donald and he’s normal and uninteresting, which clearly means he’s slated for death. But we do get a truly fantastic moment of dialogue:

“Did you know some UFOs have been seen here?”

“UFOs?” [Marjorie] echoed, not understanding.

“Sure,” he said. “Unidentified flying objects. Like from Mars or something.”…

She smiled ruefully. “I don’t believe [Murdoch] accepts that there are such things as UFOs.” (Ross, 74)

Marjorie. Your father is responsible for a planned mission to a planet from which there have been what are obviously messages. And UFOs are off the table? Seriously? What the hell is wrong with you people?

But you know what’s not off the table? Vampires. Because Marjorie, in her quest to explore the inexplicably massive Collins estate, lets herself into the Old House cellar, finds Barnabas in his casket, and, despite the narrative saying she’s shattered by the revelation, takes it in stride. She’s way more upset by Roger showing up and acting crazy than by the fact that the guy who came on to her the night before is a member of the living dead. But she chases Roger off with a candle (more foreshadowing, perhaps?) and then heads back to Collinwood. As one does.

Barnabas, Quentin and the Body Snatchers (Part Two)

(The real book cover.)

Previously on BODY SNATCHERS: Murdoch and Roger have both been replaced by aliens (and apparently lying just isn’t a thing on Velva because they’re terrible at it), Marjorie has conflicted feelings about Barnabas, and, while vampires are totally believable, UFOs are beyond the pale.

But now, in a unique twist, Elizabeth heads off to Wyncliffe to see Julia, who usually isn’t a character in this series. And we promptly learn that everyone really does know what Barnabas is. Why and how? I have no idea. We’re more than halfway through this trip and I’m just going with it.

[Elizabeth] recalled the brave fight Julia Hoffman had made to cure Barnabas of his vampire curse. She had almost met with success in her experiments and then had a last-minute failure…Perhaps the saddest thing of all was the fact that the romance was a one-sided affair. Barnabas liked Julia but had never been in love with her. (Ross, 80)

None of that happened in the novels. Go home, Ross, you’re drunk. But I do feel strangely vindicated by this agreement with my take on Barnabas and Julia. Never mind, Ross, you can stay.

But the real reason for Elizabeth’s visit is the fact that Roger is clearly an alien impostor and that’s kind of a problem. Julia suspects he’s had a mental breakdown and reluctantly says she might be able to take an overnight trip to Collinwood to see what she can do. She’s really going because she wants to see Barnabas, but whatever gets her out there.

There’s more creepiness at Collinwood and Roger and Murdoch head out to check on their prisoners, who they’ve stashed in the convenient Collins swamp (if you walk long enough the Collins estate probably has a desert, too) along with the spaceship. But then, right about the time you were going to forget he was even in this book, not-Jim Jones rolls into town.

“They say he takes spells and looks like a wild animal. It’s my opinion that crazy people should be locked up and kept locked up.”

“That would never work here in Collinsport.”

“Why not?”

“It would mean about half the village would be under padlock constant.” (Ross, 88)

Seriously, how does everyone in Collinsport know so much? Is there a newsletter?

Meanwhile at Collinwood, Marjorie brings up Barnabas’ issues with Carolyn, who admits to knowing all about that non-secret. Marjorie has been surprisingly cool, but when she goes to meet up with Jim, she sees him turn into a wolf (just because, I guess) and faints. But Jim tells her she imagined it (dude, give it up, she’s handling the vampire thing with aplomb) and they talk about what’s been going on.

“I feel the only one I can depend on is Barnabas.”

“I warned you about him.”

She nodded. “I know his secret and I’m sorry for him…he fights against the curse as best he can.” (Ross, 95-96)

Marjorie, you have literally had one conversation with him ever. Oh yeah, and he attacked you the night you arrived. Just in case you forgot.

So now we have a pretty solid ensemble cast coming together. Barnabas and Quentin are officially both in town, Julia’s on her way, and we have two aliens in place. But we know there’s a third, having witnessed Roger and Murdoch talking to it, and the big confrontation can’t happen until all parties are accounted for. And that’s where Don comes in! The aliens sabotage his speedboat in a race and he dies, so they can replace him with a body snatcher.

Don Ardell replied firmly, “There will be no body. I was there with him until the last moment…And when the explosion came there was nothing left for him to be identified by." (Ross, 109)

That’s … surprisingly awful, actually. Couldn’t they kidnap him, too? But with the third body snatcher at Collinwood, the scene is set. Time for Barnabas and Quentin to put aside their unexplained differences and conquer the aliens.

The Barnabas and Quentin scenes are something Ross consistently does well in these books and the interaction between them is always fun to read. It’s a mystery why there’s so much animosity between them, but their barbed conversations are a joy, so it doesn’t matter.

“Your attack on [my landlady] nearly sent me to jail.”

Barnabas met his gaze directly. “It was not meant that you should be blamed.”

“But that was what happened. Fortunately Ms. Vale recovered quickly and made it clear to the sheriff I was innocent.”

“Had she not done so I would have found some way to clear you.”

“How generous of you!” (Ross, 116)

Did Barnabas attack her just to mess with him? I feel like he did.

But then they talk about the real problems at hand and Barnabas reveals that he found the alien spaceship out in the swamp and knows that Roger and Murdoch are alive in a cave. Quentin logically asks why he hasn’t done something with this information, but apparently Barnabas has a realistic assessment of his ability to act alone. Now he (reluctantly) is joining forces with Quentin and they’re heading off to check out that swamp, so you know it’s on.

Back at Collinwood, Carolyn has noticed that Don is different in a bad way, but since everyone thinks he survived a very near death experience, she’s trying to be understanding and let it go. Their relationship was already doomed, though, because out of nowhere we get a twist.

“You think Don is too reckless and headstrong for me?”

“I do,” Barnabas said. “You deserve much better.”

“I know,” she said earnestly, staring up at him. “Barnabas, when this is settled, please take me away with you. Marry me and take me away!” (Ross, 128)

Carolyn. Look at your life. Look at your choices.

But for a change, Barnabas is not down with ill-advised and creepy romance and gently tells her it’s not going to happen. So at least he has that going for him. It’s not a good night for romance, though, because at the same time Quentin is breaking Marjorie’s heart with the revelation that, yes, he really is Quentin. He distracts her from that bit of bad news with the even worse news that her father, Roger, and Don are aliens. Well played, sir.

As it turns out, everyone is having a bad night at the Collins estate because off in the swamp the aliens are struggling with Murdoch’s science notebooks (not feeling so advanced now, are you?) and Murdoch lets them in on a secret he should have told them days ago: that whole mission to Velva? Yeah, it’s not actually possible. Why that wasn’t the first thing he told them, I don’t know, but he waited so long that the aliens don’t totally buy it.

Fortunately for poor Marjorie, who’s about to be kidnapped, Barnabas has a plan: dinner by torchlight. No, really, that’s the plan. And Julia has arrived just in time for Barnabas to reject her, too. Love is just not in the cards in this book.

“I’ve been hoping you’d come to Wyncliffe. I’ve been doing some interesting work at the clinic.”

Barnabas showed a look of melancholy amusement. “Perhaps I’ll do that one day.”

“You don’t even try to sound convincing, do you?” (Ross, 147)

Hearts suitably broken, it’s time for that bit of fiery foreshadowing to come into play, as Barnabas and Quentin terrorize Roger and Murdoch with torches and accuse the body snatchers of being body snatchers. Roger tries to bluster his way out of it, but this is Collinsport where people are willing to believe crazy stuff, so Barnabas just goes for it and kills him.

Marjorie still gets kidnapped, though (of course she does), so the chase is on! This is the inevitable point in a Ross novel where everything happens very quickly. The books are never more than 160 pages and every time the whole thing wraps up in about five. Barnabas rescues Roger and Murdoch, the remaining alien uses Marjorie as a human shield so he can get back in his ship and take off, and there’s a moment when it seems like maybe Quentin is dead, but of course he lives on to break hearts another day.

“Take me with you,” [Marjorie] said, staring up at him.

“Not this time,” he said. “Maybe later. I’ll phone you when I reach New York.” (Ross, 155)

Translation: you will literally never hear from him again.

But hey, with the exception of Don and the three aliens, everybody lives!

Now, having walked you through the whole novel with a lot of snarky commentary, how do I really feel about it? True love. It’s so unique and special and, even when it makes absolutely no sense (why are UFOs so hard to believe, again?), it’s just fun. And fun is what I’m looking for in this series.

BODY SNATCHERS hits a lot of the usual Ross highlights: great dialogue from Barnabas and Quentin, a quirky premise, consistent character voices. It also does some things that are different and I like that about it. Barnabas is not the romantic lead-Marjorie is in love with Quentin and finds Barnabas simultaneously charming and (rightfully) creepy. Julia is actually in it, if only for maybe a dozen pages. There’s no strong central love story. The villains really are evil aliens.

When I said before that this book seems to take place in a pocket universe, I wasn’t kidding. It feels a little bit experimental, like Ross was trying to merge plot from the show (Julia trying and failing to cure Barnabas) with the rest of the book series (Barnabas never having been locked in the casket) with a B movie from the ’50s. I never figured out how and why the whole town knows everything about the Collins family, but eh, that’s fine. Internal continuity isn’t something this series has ever done very well.

Would I recommend reading this masterpiece for yourself? Yes, yes, and more yes. If you are a DARK SHADOWS fan, you should experience it firsthand. There are some dull books in this series, which I will continue to review as a public service (conveniently consolidated right here for your reading pleasure), but this one is a great time. I’ve spent hours with it and it was time well spent.

---

ALEXIS LATSHAW is a Seattle-based writer and editor who uses her background in literary academia to write essays about TV shows. She blogs about DARK SHADOWS at Josette’s Music Box.

New edition of House of Dark Shadows novel now available in Japan

Miss Spotty Jane has brought my attention to a new Japanese translation of Marilyn Ross's 1970 novelization of HOUSE OF DARK SHADOWS. Titled LIPS OF BLOOD, the artwork is clearly riffing on the style of the Tim Burton film, but showing actor Jonathan Frid in his HOUSE costume.

For those of you interested in ordering this book, it's available for order on Amazon-Japan. Jane also supplied me with a link to the artist's website.

While you're out and about, make sure to visit her website, MSJ'S Doll Pit!