Sunday, January 20, 2013

Collinwood Cocktails: Wake Up, Willie!

(Technically, this is a very easy Vietnamese Coffee recipe I got from my friend, Ron Mikulak of the Louisville Courier Journal.  It's so easy that even a harried Loomis can make it.  It prepares itself overnight with no work, which is clearly an advantage for Willie.  And in chilly Maine, it can even make itself without electric power.  Most importantly, it provides much needed energy for daytime operations, given that the adventures of Collinwood usually begin at sundown with no time left for catch-up sleep during the day.  It's the official morning drink at the Collins Foundation and got us through many a marathon day. - Patrick McCray) 

From the Desk of Willie Loomis:

Yah gonna need:

One regular-size French press coffee maker.  If they have them in several sizes, choose the middle-sized one. Ah'm busy, Julia; ah don't have time for countin' ounces. 

1 measuring cup.  If ah ain't got one of those, ah use most of a mug.  

Light roast, ground coffee.  They try and fool you with dark roast. See, Adam, light roast's got more zip to it.

Sweetened, condensed milk.  In case ah need wake up Maggie, 'cause Barnabas'll be here any minute.  An' it's sweet, see?  Like her.  And ah don't want nothin' bad happenin' to her.

Tall tumbler or glass.  Like a highball glass.  The kind ah borrowed from Burke.  

Here's whatcha do:

Put a heapin' cup of the ground coffee in the French press.

Pour in water until it's full.  But not so full as you'll spill it on that old rug he likes and make him hit you with that cane of his.

Stir it.

Chill it in the icebox.

Wait about 8-12 hours.  That's it.

Strain it with the press.

Take that highball glass Burke's lookin' for and put in a finger or two of the sweetened, condensed milk.  Few tablespoons.  Depends on how sweet you want it.  

Pour in that cold-brewed coffee.  Ah gotta nervous stomach 'cause Adam finally ate that chicken leg, but this don't hurt as much, 'cause the cold brewin' takes out the acid.

Mix it up real good and drink it.  That'll keep you goin' till you make it to the Blue Whale so they can Irish it up.

So, remember:
  • 1 cup of ground coffee beans (any flavor or roast you like.
  • Water.
  • Chill 8-12 hours in refrigerator.
  • Strain.
  • Pour into a glass with 1-4 T of sweetened, condensed milk.  
  • Mix and drink.*
*If you want it to have even more kick, make a batch of the pre-sweetened coffee a day earlier and pour it into ice-cube trays.  Freeze those and use them as cubes in the Wake Up Willie.  
(Note: Willie Loomis screencap courtesy of WILLIE LOOMIS SAVES COLLINSPORT, which you really should visit.)


ML said...

Yes, light roast does have more caffeine but dark has more flavor. and Willie doesn't have a refrigerator.

Melissa said...

It's probably as cold as a fridge down in the basement of the Old House.

Willie Loomis said...

So, ah get back from the Blue Whale an' ah see this on Quentin's typewritah-tv where ah put this in the first place. Ah nevah said nothin' 'bout any frigeratah. Ah said 'icebox.' We got a real old one, see? When ah found it, it had real old boomahs in it that had some woman's name embroidered in it. Her name was "Aristede." Anyway, that's where ah keep it. Mrs. Johnson, see, she hauls it from town. She's strongah than she looks. An' then sometimes, ah use the one at Collinwood. Carolyn, see, she's got this thing for grenadine, an' she likes it real cold. Don't make sense, because it don' mix as good when it's cold, but evah since Jeb died, she does stuff like this. Plays those Jerry Reed records all night long. Late at night -- don't tell her ah said this -- but she drinks it straight. Now, where's the sense in that? For a while, I thought it was blood, but ah know what that tastes like, an it ain't it. Ah nevah seen the kinda bottles'a grenadine like Mrs. Johnson gets for her. Mrs. Johnson caught me once with mah coffee goop ah made. Took a drink of it and said it was too sweet, so she cut it with Moxie to make it bittah. Moxie. Ah wouldn't polish mah shoes with that stuff. Dr. Hoffman drinks a sake and Moxie every night before Barnabas wakes up, but she's as crazy as he is, I'm tellin' yah. Now, ah'm the one likes the light roast beans. Ah only sleep three or four hours a week, ah swear. Ya gotta go easy on ol' Willie. But that guy that put it all in Quentin's typewriter/tv, see, he's the one from the Collins Foundation. He drove me outta mah head with that Babylon 5 stuff. Only good thing they did was put Russ Tamblyn on, but it was only for an episode. Where's the sense in that? You know what ah like? Those true life stories that Gerry Anderson puts on from England. I guess that's how they look over there in England. That's what Jason said. Anyway, in that "parenthetical comment" (Jason taught me that kinda talk in case ah met a girl from the finishin' school) that Foundation man added, he said use any flavah or roast you want. Ah dunno. He's jambalaya north a' the eyebrows, but that's what he wrote, so I guess you got p'mission. Ah tried with espresso beans ah borrowed from Roger an' they were too fine an' gummed up the whole works. What a mess. Okay, ah hear Barnbabas wakin' up. Ah gotta go.

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