Monday, March 25, 2013


It's safe to say that Prof. T.E. Stokes was a private man. This isn't surprising when you consider how often Stokes was brought into the confidence of Collinsport's most powerful families during times of need. After all, nobody wants to hire an exorcist who has a Twitter account.

While Stokes kept a low profile for much of his life, the extensive collection of oddities found among his personal effects after his death were more than a little eye raising. You expect to find books bound in human skin and the occasional animal skull in the archives of an exorcist. A complete collection of Asterix the Gaul graphic novels, a closet full of Jet Magazines and dozens of Don Ho 45s? Not so much.

Also among his personal effects was an extensive collection correspondence letters. Below is the scan of a letter written to someone simply named "Adam."

Here's the transcript:

Dear Adam,

Have left on a jaunt to Boston to help Burt and Neil with second act trouble for their musical comedy of THE APARTMENT.  (I seem to recall that you enjoyed Fred MacMurray's contribution to the original with considerable relish before one of our more arduous hygiene experiments.)  In the meantime, you may want to practice the many ways of the urbane sophisticate.  Since the Pimms Cup experience proved to be a disaster (my sock garters now forever in the possession of Nicholas Blair as a result), I am retooling my recipe into what I call the 'Stokes Cup.'  In my rugby days, before I found the more sublime love of curling, a 'Stokes Cup' would have been an ample vessel indeed, but a standard tumbler will suffice for our needs.  

You''l need: 

Three ounces of cranberry-infused vodka, often found ready made in The Future.  
One ounce of Rose's Lime Juice
Ice of some sort.  Crushed, I imagine.  

Mix this and serve with a shotglass of ginger ale as a relief for the more delicate palates.  

I think you'll find the results to be most refreshing.  Remember, Adam, how I've always taught you about responsibility and right versus wrong?  Well, you'll never learn self-restraint until you start making mixed drinks for your various guests and prisoners.  

Professor "Professor" Stokes

PS -- Please stay off my penny-farthing.  Also, mail the Zuni Doll ASAP!

NOTE: Recipe and accompanying letter written by Patrick McCray, of The Collins Foundation.

1 comment:

Melissa said...

Goes great with sharp cheddar and an absolutely unsweetened biscuit.

I totally heard the letter in Thayer David's voice. Lovely.

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