Monday, July 15, 2013


Our latest COLLINWOOD COCKTAIL comes to us from PATRICK McCRAY, who is currently embroiled in the latest phase of THE DARK SHADOWS EXPERIMENT. Dubbed THE COLLINS CHRONICLES, the project is a retelling of the core narrative of DARK SHADOWS as diary entries from Barnabas Collins, as well as letters and associated documents from his loved ones, associates, and rivals. Naturally, this drink recipe is written in-character, from the point of view of one QUENTIN COLLINS. Enjoy!

Dear Jameson,
Greetings to you at Yale from your wayward uncle.  (Florence has never looked better... she sends her regards.)  How are things with the Skull and Bones boys? 

There will come a day when an evening with a beautiful companion must be rounded out with an aperitif.  Only one for each of you, my friend!  It takes work, and so will this!  But it is vital that she knows it's worth it.

First of all, have the cook fry up:

1 lb. of bacon. 
Yep, you heard that.  Bacon!  That's one of the manly elements, and a subtle hint of the savory delights of your company. 

Save the fat.  Eat the bacon.

Take the collected bacon fat, cool it to a point when you can manage it, but it's not yet solid. Put it in a large jar with:

Two fifths of fine, Kentucky bourbon. 

Kentucky, land of thoroughbreds! 

Let the two elements meld, blend in a large jar, and become one in a warm, dark place.  Give them about two hours alone. 

Cool things down overnight.  Place the jar in an icebox and let the two elements part, each taking with them the essence of the other.

Pass the bourbon through cheesecloth to capture any excess fat and keeping it smooth and pure.

Store the new bourbon in a pleasing decanter.

(Save the fat for the cook to use as the basis for a hearty stew, the kind men like.  Thus, Edward will not.  Haw!)

Grab a shaker and cracked ice.  Per drink, serve up...

Two ounces of the Bacon Bourbon

Two ounces of Godiva Liqueur (found at all fine spirit emporiums in The Future)

(Optional -- a capful of Grand Marnier.)
Shake vigorously, showing her your virility!

Pour and enjoy the surprise, curiosity, enticement, and delight in her eyes.

Light the fire, and crank the Victrola.  The rest is up to you.

Your friend always,
Uncle Quentin


vderricks said...

I have the bacon, now I'm off to the liquor store to get the fine Kentucky bourbon.

Unknown said...

Let us know how it turns out!

Anonymous said...

It also works with Rum and Kahlua. Kahlua. Anything sweet. At some point, I'll try it with mead.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...