A few thoughts on the Dark Shadows trailer

I don't know if there's ever been a disconnect as great as what I expected from a Dark Shadows movie and what was promised to me in the trailer that debuted last night on iTunes. We've been hearing for months that it was a comedy, warnings often laced with assurances -- from the writer, director, cast, etc. -- that this was not the case.

If you've watched the trailer you already know that somebody's been lying. And it wasn't a small lie, either. The new Dark Shadows movie might be a great many things but it looks to be a comedy above all else. This isn't a concept that particularly offends me. If Dark Shadows is a comedy and it's actually funny, then it's done its job.

What I find repellant is the lack of understanding of the subject matter, and the utter disregard for the television show's former fanbase. The story looks to deviate so far from the original storyline that I don't know if there's a reason to even call it Dark Shadows. Had I watched the trailer cold -- without titles or character references -- I'd never have guessed it had anything to do with the original Dan Curtis television show. It actually made me a little queasy to watch. It's not enough that Tim Burton doesn't want us at the cool kids' party, but he's got to ridicule us, as well.

What makes the many, many changes to the television show's characters and situations even more baffling is Johnny Depp's dedication to looking and sounding like Jonathan Frid. Depp obviously spent a lot of time working on a playful homage to the Frid, and I have trouble believing he'd ask members members of the original cast to make cameos in the film if his goal was to embarrass them. But that trailer has an unmistakable Brady Bunch Movie cynicism that makes me uncomfortable. If it's not laughing at Dark Shadows it's at least laughing in its general direction.

And I wasn't alone in these sentiments. Facebook and Twitter almost caught fire as fan outrage reached toxic, Jar Jar Binks levels last night. I was trying not to contribute to another angry, negative Internet flame war, but I didn't feel compelled to try especially hard.

Those of us who love the original television show have no real reason to watch this movie, outside of morbid curiosity or a misguided sense of masochism. We might be a minority among ticket buyers, but I don't see what the upside is to alienating us, either. I'm sure the Warner Bros. marketing department isn't doing cartwheels over the prospect of trying to sell an unfamiliar concept to whoever else might want to see this movie.

But I'm willing to give Burton the benefit of the doubt. I was one of his defenders when he cast Michael Keaton as Batman, and that controversy died a quick death once audiences saw the final product. The trailer might even be the terrified, desperate work of a marketing department that ran some Dark Shadows footage through the Austin Powers Trailer Generator. Anything's possible at this point.